


Sheepdog

by galapagos



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Attraction, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, No Shepard without Vakarian, POV Multiple, Slow Burn, Space Opera, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 23,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galapagos/pseuds/galapagos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne Shepard has been brought back to life by Cerberus to deal with the Collector threat. She is surrounded by people she can't trust. But it's dangerous to go alone, so she finds some new friends as well as some old ones. Maybe she'll find something more than friendship too.  </p><p>*T for language, violence, etc.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1- Shepard

**Author's Note:**

> The name in the chapter title gives the character whose POV is used for that chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard get a new _Normady_ , with strings attached of course. But at least she has Joker.

_The tricky headshot he took was that first thing she liked about him. Cooly putting a slug through the cranium of the thug holding the young doctor hostage and dropping him without so much as batting an eyelash. Well, if Turians had eyelashes he wouldn’t have batted one. Shepard hadn’t known the right analogy to use. But it was smooth, and Doctor Michel hadn’t gotten so much as a scratch. The C-Sec officer had sauntered over to her and introduced himself. If cats, dragons, and stringed instruments could be cross bred, their offspring would have sounded like his voice. Shepard had smirked, she couldn’t help it._

 

_He seemed to expect some kind of resistance to him joining her team. He was wrong. Shepard never cared what species her people were. People were people. End of story. Besides, anyone who could shoot like that was welcome to join her. Shepard had usually used her pistol and was a good shot herself, but Garrus was a sniper and one of the best she’d ever seen. She had been a little miffed though that he spent so much of his spare time calibrating the Normandy's weapons systems. Shepard was an engineer by training and that was what she did to unwind. She let it slide though, now that she was a Spectre and in charge of that crazy operation, she hadn’t have the time to do it justice and he enjoyed it so._

****

Shepard missed Garrus. She missed Wrex. She also missed Liara, Tali, and Kaiden. Shepard missed everyone from the old _Normandy_. She wished Ashley was alive, she still felt guilty over her death. There hadn’t been anything she could do, Saren had made sure of that. Survivor's guilt seemed to be her lot in life, she'd lost a lot of good people over the years. She missed all her crew, but she missed her friends the most.

 

In the sea of Cerberus people she couldn’t trust, at least she had Joker. Shepard never told him, but he reminded her of her brother, horrible jokes and all. Not that Pip had been her real brother; he was sort of adopted by Jayne. Jayne Shepard had grown up on the streets. Shepard wasn’t even her real name, she didn’t know what it was. Some of the kids had called her Sheepdog when she was little because she was always protecting the smaller ones. When she got older, the Tenth Street Reds had dubbed her German Shepard because of her ferocity. She was eleven when she had found Pip, he was a few years younger, and she kept him. They’d been inseparable, but he had died a long time ago. It was because of him she had joined the Alliance, his death was what spurred her to join the military when she turned eighteen. Pip had always told her she was too smart to waste her life on the streets. After he’d got himself killed, Shepard finally listened. That had changed her life. The military recognized her talents too. She’d become an engineer and got into the prestigious N7 program. Then came Akuze and Eden Prime. Becoming the first human Spectre. Fighting Saren and the Geth, finding out about the Reapers. The good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it was because of Pip.

 

She headed to the bridge of the new _Normandy_. Cerberus had done a good job putting this ship together. Too good. She didn’t trust it or them. There were too many strings attached to this job. “How’s it feel, Joker?” She asked.

 

“Nice! She drives like a dream.”

At least someone was happy.


	2. Chapter 2 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finds Archangel. Rockets, explosions, bullets, and death ensue.

Archangel. What the hell kind of codename was that? An asinine one in Shepard’s opinion. But it had been given to the Turian vigilante by the people of Omega and they did seem to appreciate theatrics. Look at their leader, Aria. That Asari was a drama queen. “ _The only rule on Omega is don’t fuck with Aria.”_ Pure, unadulterated drama. Shepard didn’t like drama.

Shepard, Zaeed, and Miranda were making their way to the bridge to the Archangels strong hold. As she jumped the barricade she caught a glimpse of blue armor. “ _No. It couldn’t... Shit! It could!_ ” She hurried her party across the bridge and into the fortress. The Archangel hit them a few times but he was using concussion shots. Shepard speed up. She rushed up the stairs and burst into the room the sniper was holed up in, she yanked off her helmet.

“Shepard? I thought you were dead.” Archangel said, pulling his helmet off as well and slumped tiredly onto a nearby seat. “And what happened to your face?” Her face hadn’t healed yet and the implants could still be seen in some places, glowing a faint golden yellow.

“Garrus!” She cried and rushed over giving him a big hug. He was stiffened, the physical display of affection was unexpected. She’d never hugged him before. Shepard let him go quickly. Zaeed made a noise like a half-drowned cat, Shepard assumed it was laughter.

“Whoa, uh Shepard. Calm down.” Garrus said, with a low rumbling laugh.

She took a step back so she could see him better. She was slightly shorter than average for a human and he was so damn tall. “What are you doing here?”

“Just a little target practice. Have to keep my skills sharp.” He looked down at her, a slight grin on his face.

“You ok?” Shepard asked, concerned. Her friend looked so tired.

“Been better, but it’s good to see a friendly face. Even if is is a undead one.” Shepard made a slight movement of her head toward Miranda, Garrus understood. They would talk about it later. “Killing mercs is hard work, especially on my own,”

“I can see that. And you shot me, you ass.” She said giving him a friendly punch on the arm.

“Only concussion shot, had to make it look real.” He said.

Shepard made a derisive noise, but was smiling. She was happy to have found him.

“If I wanted to do more than take your shields down I would have done it. Besides, you were taking your sweet time, I had to get you moving.”

“I was going as fast as I could, I haven’t got freakishly long legs like you. What now? It won’t be easy to get out.”

“No, it won’t. That bridge has saved my life, funneling witless idiots into my scope. But it works both ways. They’ll slaughter us if we go that way.” Garrus gestured over his shoulder toward the bridge.

“So what?” Interjected Miranda, after her unusually long period of silence. “We just wait here for them to take us out?”

Shepard made a face, Miranda was constantly criticizing and complaining about Shepard’s decisions. Her back was turned so Miranda couldn’t see. Her expression made Garrus smile.

“With the three of you, I suggest we hold this location. Wait for a crack in their defenses, and take our chances. It’s not a perfect plan but it’s a plan.”

“How’d you let get yourself into this mess?” Shepard said. It wasn’t like her friend to back himself into a corner like this. She was worried that it might be partially her fault.

“I let my feelings get in the way of my better judgement. It’s a long story.”

Shepard cocked her head to one side, eyebrow raised. Garrus understood the question. They’d become pretty good at reading each other despite the difference in their species.

“I’ll make you a deal, we get out of here alive, and I’ll tell you the whole damn thing.”

Shepard grinned, “Works for me, I have no intention of dying here anyway.”

“Let’s see what they’re up to...” Garrus moved to the window, handing her his beloved sniper rifle. He was still using the one she’d modified for him. She looked through the scope.

“Hmm. Looks like they know their infiltration team failed. They’re sending scouts. Eclipse I think.”

“That’s a lot more than scouts, Garrus.” A large number of LOKI mechs and mercenaries were gathering at the barricade.

“I’ll stay up here, I can do a lot of damage from this vantage point. You..” his voice cracked a little in amusement. “You can do what you do best. Just like old times Shepard.”

Shepard popped a new clip into her gun and signaled her team to move out. They headed down the stairs and were in position when the first wave of mercenaries hit. Garrus had taken out a lot from up top, but they were coming in sufficient numbers that he couldn’t pick them all off. They had no trouble handling them. Suddenly, they stopped coming.

“We better get back upstairs.” Zaeed said, squinting at the barricade. “They’re up to something.”

Shepard nodded, they were already halfway up when Garrus beeped through on her comm, asking them to come back up.

“You’re kicking ass Shepard, they barely touched me. And we got Jaroth in the process. I’ve been hunting that little bastard for months.”

“Why?” She took the opportunity to roll her shoulders and stretch a little. All of the stupid cybernetics were still bothering her, the joys of being a modern Lazarus.

“He’s been shipping tainted eezo all over Citadel space. Half the goods I seized with C-Sec came from his team here. A while back, there was a big raid and I killed his top lieutenant, he wasn’t too happy. I’m not surprised he decided to join up with the other mercs.”

“What now? We’ve still got Blood pack and Blue Suns left, think we can make a break for it?”

“Maybe, lets take a look.” Garrus said. “They're reinforcing the other side heavily, but what are they waiting for?” A blast shook the house. “Damn it, they’ve breached the lower levels. Well, they had to use their brains eventually. Shepard, you’d better get down there. I’ll get the bridge clear.”

“Of course,” Shepard agreed. “We’ll split up two and two.”

“You sure? Who knows what you’ll find down there.” Garrus sounded worried.

“I’m sure. Zaeed, you stay with Garrus. He dies, I kill you. Painfully.”

“Whatever you say, love.” The old man grinned and replaced his thermal clip.

 

Miranda and Shepard headed out. They clear the main level quickly and made it to the basement. There were three sets of blast doors to seal. It would have been impossible to get the rooms cleared and the doors sealed if the mercs hadn’t been so disorganized. Instead of coming through all three entrances at the same time, they were trying one door at a time. It gave Shepard and Miranda enough time to wipe out three teams. Shepard was thankful they were such tactical dunces. It made her life easier. Miranda was obviously displeased, so all in all it was a fairly good day. They were heading back up when Zaeed came in over the comm.

“Sending in more, watch yourself.”

“They have a heavy coming in.” Garrus added.

“No they don’t.” She replied.

She heard some static then, “You?”

“Oh yeah. You know how I like to tinker.”

That got laugh from the Turian.

“Get ready,” Garrus said. “Here come more.”

Shepard and Miranda went back to work. They kept the mercs from getting upstairs and took down a large krogan, who was leading the Blood Pack.

 

“They barely touched us and you took out Garm. Nice.” Garrus said as Shepard entered.

“You know every merc and gang leader personally?” She quipped.

“Pretty much.”

“That’s my Garrus, making friends all over the galaxy. I think we should be able to make it out now, only the Blue Suns are left.”

“I think you’re right.” Garrus agreed. “Tarak’s got the toughest group but they won’t be expecting us to-”

He was cut off by a gunship crashing through a window on the other side of the room.

“Get down!” Zaeed shouted.

 

Shepard had sabotaged the gun ship and taken out the mechanic, but the must have found someone to get to working again. She checked, it’s shields hadn’t been fixed properly. She pulled the rocket launcher off her back, so glad she’d decided to bring it now, and shot at the ship. The three explosives were enough to blast a hole in the thing. It crashed but not before it fired a rocket at Garrus. The blast caught him full in the face and chest. The remaining mercs fled.

“Garrus!” She rushed over, she emptied her supply of medigel trying to stabilize him.

“He’s not going to make it.” Miranda told Shepard.

“He sure as hell is.” She snapped back. “Call Joker and make sure they’re ready. Have Chakwas meet us.” She turned her attention back to Garrus. “Don’t you dare die. If you die, I will resurrect your ass so I can kill you myself.”

 


	3. Chapter 3 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus wakes to find he's not dead. Yeah!

_The first time they had met, she’d grinned at him. It was right after he took that thug out who was holding Dr. Michel hostage. He’d thought it was strange. He’s also found it strange how she was had no qualms about him joining her team. Shepard had asked some questions, taken a look at his C-Sec record but that was because she was thorough and good at her job. She never put her crew at risk if she could help avoid it. But she never seemed to care that he wasn’t human. It wasn’t what he’d expected from an Alliance officer. Shepard wasn’t in any way what he had expected. Of course, Shepard had also just become the first human spectre so she had to be unique._

 

_Later, Garrus had found it strange how easily they’d become friends. He found it strange how she’d picked up the oddest assortment of a crew in her fight with Saren. All sort of species and she treated them all the same,  just part of her crew. Spirits, one of the woman’s best friends was a krogan ex-mercenary who had utterly adored her._

 

_Shepard had a way with people, all kinds of people. She had a quiet charisma and a constant calm that drew them to her. She had been a natural leader, whether she liked it or not. He knew she hadn’t, the burden of all the lives that she was responsible for weighed on her. He’d seen her often enough sitting up after missions, nursing a hot drink, ruminating. But she never let it affect her judgement, even after Ash had died. She’d been sad and felt guilty, even though there had been nothing she could have done, but she’d carried on. She would not let any of the people they’d lost die in vain. It was part of what made her so good at what she did. It was part of what made her Shepard._

 

_More strange still than any of the other strange things about Shepard was how attracted he had been to her. Dr. T’Soni and Alenko had both very obviously been vying for her attention in a romantic way, but she ever expressed any interest in anything but friendship with them. He had been surprised by that, both were extremely attractive by their species standards and clearly infatuated. It made him wonder why she wasn’t interested, if there was someone else. Not the he was arrogant enough to think he’d have a shot, even if he’d tried. But she never talked about anyone in that way. He knew the truth was the mission been the most important thing to her. But now she was dead…_

 

_No. She was alive. Shepard had been on Omega. She’d hugged him when she found him. He remembered how much it had shocked him. He also remembered how much he’d wanted to touch her hair. Shepard had always kept her hair long, held back in a tight bun. Now it was cropped short and he’d wanted to stroke it, but that would have been creepy._

 

_They’d taken out the mercenaries together, then he’d been hit by that blasted gun ship. Shepard was there when he was hit. Then she’d been yelling at him… Wait, was he dead?_

_****_

Garrus groaned as he regained consciousness. His face and chest hurt like hell. So, he wasn’t dead. He opened his eyes and saw what he could swear was the ceiling of the _Normandy’s_ medbay.

 

“You’re awake, that’s good” It was Dr. Chakwas’ voice.

 

“Dr. Chakwas?” He managed to get out, moving his mouth to speak took a lot of effort.

 

“Settle down for a moment Garrus, lets give you something…” She injected something into his into his face. “There. That should help with the pain but I’m afraid it’s going to scar badly.”

 

Garrus tried to get up.

 

“You’re on the _Normandy II_.” She could tell he was confused. “You need rest, you took a bad hit. You're not healed yet and I’ve had to implant some cybernetics. Your body needs time to adjust.”

 

“How long was I out?” Garrus asked. Whatever painkiller the doctor had given him had worked like a charm, he could talk much more easily now.

 

“Two days.” The doctor admitted. “I’ll let the Commander know you’re awake, she’s been worried. We all were.”

 

Garrus got up despite her protests. He couldn’t do this to Shepard. He needed to let her know he was alright in person, and he hated sitting around in medbays.

 

“Fine, you reckless Turian. She’s in the conference room.” Dr. Chakwas gave up, and told him how the get there. The layout of the ship had been changed slightly, but she’d uploaded the new specs to his visor. She also told him in a lowered voice, that the new _Normandy_ was a Cerberus ship. Garrus was shocked. Shepard was working for Cerberus? He knew her history with them. But this was Shepard, so there had be a good reason. He headed out of the medbay. “Come check in with me in a few hours!” the doctor called after him, he nodded even though he had no intention of doing so.

 

Garrus found the conference room easily and walked in. Shepard was talking with a Cerberus officer, a human male. He had dark hair and skin and Garrus was pretty sure he was handsome by human standards.

 

“Tough son of a bitch, I didn’t think he’d be up yet.” The man said, admiration clear in his voice.

 

Shepard turned to him. She was worried and tired but broke into a lopsided grin as she looked at him, crossing her arms in front of her. She still looked worried though, as her eyes ran over the wounds on his face and neck.

 

“Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?” He asked jokingly.

 

“Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face paint on there, and no one will even notice.”

 

He couldn’t help but laugh, but that hurt. “Ha-ah! Don’t make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is.” He paused, “Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you most of those women are Krogen…” Garrus couldn’t believe he’d said something so stupid but Shepard was laughing. She had always had a terrible sense of humor. The Cerberus officer saluted her formally and left. Garrus waited to speak until the door closed behind the man.

 

“Frankly, I more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?”

 

“I do.” She shook her head, frowning. “I don’t like it Garrus but I’m stuck. They brought me back to life, not that I feel I owe them anything for that, but they’re taking the Reaper threat seriously and.. Well, I’m not sure the Alliance will even take me back. Colonies are missing and I have to do something.” She smiled rather morosly and continued, “That’s why I’m glad you’re here. If I’m walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side.”

  
“You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too. Hah, just like old times.” He was glad she needed him. He had that strange urge to stroke her hair again, but resisted. “I’m fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard.” That was a bit of a lie, he really should have a few days rest, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “I’ll settle in and see what I can do at the forward batteries.”


	4. Chapter 4 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calibrations and story time.

_Shepard had never been comfortable with the very visible attention Liara and Kaiden had paid her. They were both wonderful people, but she wasn’t interested. She had tried to make it very clear she only wanted to be friends. They’d both got the message, eventually. It had been awkward between them for a while but they were all adults and professionals so they moved past it. They had even managed to remain friends._

 

_The mission had been the most important thing back then. Her crew had become her family but the other stuff: love, happiness, a life? Shepard had thought there would be time for that later. Only they hadn’t, she’d died. Then she’d been brought back. She’d learned from that. The mission was still top priority but you can’t make life wait for later. There may very well be no later. She’d lost two years but it could have been so much more. Now, he’d almost died..._

 

_Shepard had always found something oddly enticing about Garrus. But she’d never done anything about it. There had been the mission and Saren and she’d been afraid it would be inappropriate. Garrus wasn’t, technically, under her command but she’d told herself it seemed like an abuse of her position. Plus, she hadn’t thought he was interested and she didn’t want to pester him or endanger their friendship._

 

_Now, she had a second chance at life and she was going to make it count. But damn, was she nervous. She was still afraid by pursuing him she’d lose his friendship. But she, Liara, and Kaiden had stayed friends. So, it could be ok. It might be a little awkward but it would be ok._

 

_How funny it was, the great Commander Shepard nervous about feelings and romance. What a joke. Somehow she gained a reputation for being smooth, but she wasn’t. She just tried to be friendly and people insisted on taking it the wrong way, choosing to color perfectly normal questions with innuendo. Shepard wasn’t one for innuendo, well, except in a humorous way. If she was interested she would just said so. She always had. Mostly._

_Oh well, the worst thing he could say was no. Right? Wrong. It could be so much worse. Shit. What the hell was she going to do?_

_****_

“Let me guess, you’re in the middle of some calibrations.” Shepard said, leaning against the bulkhead, arms crossed.

 

“How did you ever guess?” Garrus joked.

 

Shepard moved over to a crate against one wall and sat down. She was tired but had been having trouble sleeping since she’d been revived. Her implants and cybernetics ached. “I was promised a story you know.”

 

“Yeah.” Garrus said. He sounded so sad and angry, she wanted to hug him again.

 

“If you’re not ready, it’s ok.” She meant it, he didn’t seem ready to talk.

 

“Thanks,” he half sighed.

 

“I’m the best, I know.” She leaned back, letting the ship support her aching back and closing her eyes for a moment. “I should probably catch you up on what’s going on anyway.”

 

“What has been going on?” He stopped working for a moment to look at her. “You look terrible by the way. Like you’ve been through the ringer?” He said the phrase as more of a question than a statement, he always had been a little unsure about human expressions.

 

“Thanks, that’s just what every woman wants to hear. And look who’s talking, I’m not the only one whose face took a hit.” She sighed, running a hand through her cropped, dark red hair. Cerberus had cut it off while rebuilding her. It was odd, she’d never had her hair short before, but she was starting to like it. It was low maintenance. “But, yeah, through the ringer is an apt phrase. I’m mostly spare parts cobbled together with freezer burned leftovers now.”

He watched her intently, his mandibles twitching slightly, as she told the story of getting spaced then waking up in the Cerberus facility. She detailed her escape and her first meeting with the Illusive Man. She didn’t tell him that he was the first person she’d asked about, or that she’d asked more than once, or about the messages she’d discreetly sent trying to find him and, of course, her other friends. Shepard also told him about the Collectors on Freedom’s Progress and running into Tali.

 

“That’s about it.” She finished. “The Collectors are abducting human colonies for the Reapers but we don’t know why. The Council and the Alliance won’t do anything about it but the Illusive Man is, even if I don’t trust him. He gave me this ship and some dossiers of people I’m supposed to recruit to help me. We headed to Omega first. After I picked up the Salarian professor, Mordin, I went after Archangel. I got lucky for once, since he was you.”

 

“Of course, you’d wake up after being dead for two years to find yourself being shot at. Then immediately start marching around the galaxy saving people.” Garrus replied, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“We’re in a ship Garrus, we fly about the galaxy. We don’t march.”  

 

“Shepard…” He drew the last syllable out, a light reprimand for her stupid joke. She never could help herself when it came to stupid jokes at inappropriate moments. “You should get some sleep, it’s late and you look tired.”

 

“I was unconscious for two years, you know.” He raised his brow plates at her and made a little grumbling noise, one she never could resist. “I haven’t been sleeping,” she admitted reluctantly. “It’s all these cybernetics and stuff, they keep me awake.”

 

He huffed. “Come on,” he said and herded her to the medbay as he paged Dr. Chakwas with his omnitool.

 

“Traitor,” she hissed but didn’t resist. There wasn’t any point.

 

The doctor arrived right after them. “Ah, my two worst patients. What can I do for you?”

 

“Shepard hasn’t been sleeping.” Garrus said, ratting her out.

 

“For how long?” the doctor moved Shepard to an examination table and pulled a scanner over.

 

“Since I was revived.” Shepard admitted.

 

“Commander, you should have told me sooner! You’re never going to heal if you don’t get some rest.” The doctor ran a few short scans, clucking in disapproval the whole time. Then she went to the dispensary and got a small bottle which she handed to Shepard. “This will help you sleep. You should stay here but I know you won’t hear of it.” Then, Chakwas stuck a small monitor chip on Shepard’s forehead. “This will monitor your implants remotely so I can figure out exactly what the problem is. We may need to make some adjustments. That medication works fairly fast, so don’t take it until you’re ready for bed. I don’t want you staggering around.” She rounded on the Turian. “You go get some sleep too, or I’ll sedate you as well.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison and headed out of the medbay. Dr. Chakwas watched them for a moment, eyes narrowed. Then followed Shepard to the elevator. Garrus was grinning at her being escorted by the doctor like a naughty child.

 

Dr. Chakwas marched her into her room. So, apparently they were marching around space after all. She sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed, while Shepard went through her nightly toilette. Once she was ready, the doctor got a large glass of water and instructed the commander to get into bed.

 

“I really wish you had said something sooner, Commander.” Dr. Chakwas scolded again and handing her the water. The doctor watched her take two of the pills and swallow them as if the doctor expected some treachery on Shepard’s part. Shepard didn’t blame her, she knew she was an awful patient.

 

She sighed, “I know but-”

 

“But you’re a horrible patient, I get it.” The Doctor shook her head as she took the empty cup and put it away. Shepard yawned, she could feel the medication working already. “Good night Commander, and come see me first thing in the morning.”

 

Shepard was asleep before the other woman even left the room.

 


	5. Chapter 5 - Dr. Chakwas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young people...

Karin Chakwas went to the lift and headed back to the lower decks. She made sure Garrus had gone to bed like he’d promised. For once, the stubborn Turian seemed to have listened. Then Chakwas headed back to medbay. She was awake now, so she might as well do a little work. She wanted to look through the scans she’d run on Commander Shepard. The Commander should be dead, so it wasn’t a shock she was having trouble adjusting to her new cybernetics. She was full of the damn things, poor girl.

 

Chakwas couldn’t help but smile a little thinking of Garrus shepherding Commander Shepard into the medbay. They were an odd couple to be sure, but they genuinely cared about each other. When the Commander had brought the unconscious Turian in from Omega, she was covered in his blood. Chakwas knew the Commander had been certified as an emergency medic from her Alliance files. It was her training and sheer stubbornness that had kept him alive. It had taken a lot of work for her to get Garrus patched up. He’d needed a ton of cybernetics as well as reconstructive surgery and several transfusions. He was just lucky he hadn’t lost his eye.

 

She’d heard that Miranda yelling at the Commander for the unnecessary risk she’d taken in getting Garrus back to the ship. That woman could be quite a bitch, but Chakwas thought she’d seemed a little impressed with the Commander nonetheless. The mercenary, Zaeed, certainly had been. He’d been grinning like the cat that got the canary.

 

Later, he’d told the whole mess the story of how Commander Shepard had dragged her unconscious friend bodily from the battle while dispatching the few remaining mercenaries. He’d told the tale with great gusto and blatant exaggeration. He’d had the entire crew believing the story. The doctor couldn’t help smiling at the absurd picture it brought to mind of the Commander with Garrus thrown over one shoulder stomping down the streets of Omega, shooting down everything in her path with the other hand. It wasn’t even physically possible but is was a great story.

 

Not that the crazy story had been far wrong. The Commander had filled her in herself. She said that Miranda had used her biotics to help lift Garrus while she and Zaeed cut a path through the remaining mercenaries. But, by the end of their little escapade, Miranda had been exhausted and the Commander did drag have to drag Garrus, with her squad’s help. Then she’d appropriated an air car from the dead mercenaries and they flew back to the ship. She’d had already used all the medigel the group had to stabilize the Turian enough for transport but had managed to stop most of the bleeding by time they arrived back at the _Normandy_.

 

The doctor knew that the Commander would have done that for any one of her crew. Hell, she’d died saving Joker, a fact that the pilot was still wracked with guilt about. However, she also knew that Garrus was special to the Commander. She wondered if the Commander and former cop knew how they felt about each other. It was damn obvious to her, though no one else seemed to have noticed. Except Wrex, in a startling moment of clarity. ‘ _So Doc,_ _when are they just gonna break down and have a go at each other?’_ He’d asked her once after the Commander and Garrus had deposited him in the medbay to be patched up after a mission back on the original _Normandy_. They could see the pair sitting together in the mess while they wrote their reports, the way they always did after a mission. ‘ _I don’t know. But I wouldn’t suggest asking them. Even you wouldn’t survive that.’_ She’d joked and the big Krogan had laughed.

 

Now she was wondering the same thing. When would they admit their feelings? The Commander had been dead for two years and Garrus had just barely missed joining her. But, best not to meddle. Yet. They’ll figure it out eventually, even if they needed to take their sweet time doing it.

 

Chakwas sighed. Both were workaholics, who hadn’t a clue when it came to romance. That’s what amused Dr. Chakwas the most about the reputation the Commander had managed to get as some sort of galactic inamorata. It’d been rather funny to to see the bewildered Commander staving off the amorous advances of T’Soni and Alenko. Garrus too had had his share of unwanted admirers, such as that Dr. Michel. Chakwas still wasn’t quite sure if he hadn’t realized the doctor had a crush on him or if he had hoped it would go away if he ignored it. Either way it was funny. Dr. Chakwas felt she was too old for these games, but young people needed them.

 

It was hard to think of the Commander as a young woman, but she was. She’d only been in her late twenties when Dr. Chakwas had first met her, and Garrus was about the same age. Now, the Commander had missed two years of her life, which had to be confusing. Just another thing to add to the Commander’s ever growing list of problems.

 

The readings she was getting from the Commander’s implants were not confusing. She needed a course of anti-rejection drugs and some rest. Dr. Chakwas could also make a few adjustments to the cybernetics so they wouldn’t cause the Commander so much trouble. Cerberus had done a good job putting her back together, but had rushed at the end and it showed. The cybernetics needed some tuning. The Doctor was also going to have to put the Commander on sleeping meds, at least for a while. She hated the idea, but she feared she it would be necessary to get her back up to shape since the biggest problem seemed to be that Commander Shepard was exhausted. At least this was something she could fix and she was thankful for small miracles. Now, she could go back to bed in peace.


	6. Chapter 6 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard wakes up grumpy, decides to go on a scavenger hunt, uses her "mom voice", and recruits a thief. Fun times.

“We’ll be docking with Citadel station in two hours, Commander.” Joker called out over her comm. “They’re making us wait.”

She acknowledged him. “Ok.”

“By the way, I’m glad Garrus is back. He always was my favorite, with that stick up his ass.”

She could practically see him wiggle his eyebrows. Shepard snorted, “Keep talking and we’ll see who had a stick up their ass, Joker.” No one should be allowed to sound so damn chipper this early in the morning. Or ever. Ok, maybe she was just a bit grumpy this morning.

“Ouch, Commander that hurt.”

“Good. I’ll be up shortly. Over and out.” She chuckled a little and flipped her comm off. The she rolled out of bed and looked at the clock. Shit, it was almost 1000? No wonder Joker was cheerful already. She was normally up by 0600 at the latest. It must have been those sleeping pills, she couldn’t even remember falling asleep. Shepard took a quick shower and got dressed, then headed down to the medbay. She knew she’d never hear the end of it if she didn’t see Dr. Chakwas first thing.

The doctor was waiting for her. “You’re going to need a series of short procedures to adjust your cybernetics, Commander.” She took the chip from Shepard and plugged it into a port on her desk. “They won’t interfere with your duties,” she added as Shepard opened her mouth. “I just want to make sure everything is properly acclimated for you. You’ll need to wear a monitor.”

Dr. Chakwas produced a small chip which she stuck to the side of Shepard’s neck. She explained that she would need to bring it back every night and switch it out for a real-time monitor. The daytime version was a sealed system, so it didn’t send out any signal just in case Shepard got into trouble, no one could use it to track her. Then she started to happily explain exactly what the procedures would entail. Doctor Chakwas sure did love her work. 

“You have everything you need?” Shepard said, changing the subject.

“I’m remarkably well set up. Cerberus has spared no expense. The only thing I’m missing is personal stuff.”

“Like what?”

The doctor gave her a slightly sheepish look. “I had a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy.”

“Fancy stuff,” Shepard grinned, she resolved to find a bottle for the good doctor while on the Citadel.

“I should have drank it when I had the chance but I was saving it for a special occasion. Ah well, I’ve learned my lesson. Seize life while you can.” The Doctor gave Shepard a look she could only think of as pointed. She made a few more scans, then used a funny looking tool that made Shepard face feel numb for a moment. “First adjustment done. You’re good to go Commander.”

“Thanks, doctor. Let me know if you think of anything you need.”

Shepard stopped before she exited. “Garrus is ok, right? I was hoping to take him with me, but if you think he needs more rest…”

Dr. Chakwas responded with a little laugh. “Commander, he’ll be ok. He should take it easy for a few day but so should you! Not that anyone ever listens to me. At least, Joker can’t run from me like the rest of you. Now shoo, go. If you’re not going to listen to my expert medical advice, get out of my medbay.”

Shepard grinned at the Doctor, she always did like her, and headed up to check on Joker and EDI.

****

“Joker play nice!” Shepard laughed.

“Aww, but Commander!” the pilot whined.

“No buts, Jeffrey Moreau. I mean it! Be nice to EDI.”

He winced when she used his full name. “Mom voice,” he muttered. “That’s a low blow.”

“Damn right. And EDI,” she turned to the AI’s interface, “please stop provoking him. I swear I will put you both in time out.”

“I am an AI, Commander Shepard, but I understand your meaning. I will endeavour not to cause unnecessary annoyance to Mr. Moreau.” EDI replied primly.

“Ok, Shepard. I’ll play nice too.” Joker relented, slouching further into his seat.

“Good.” She bend over his chair and gave him a gentle half hug. “I’m so proud of my little baby pilot, he’s growing up.”

“Yeah, yeah. How do you talk me into this shit, Shepard?”

****

The Citadel smelled funny. I smelled like new construction and fear. Security had been tightened quite a bit too. Everyone seemed jumpy. It made Shepard feel on edge. She hadn’t been here since the defeat of Sovereign. It was weird to be back.

Then she’d got stopped by C-Sec for being dead. A C-Sec officer, Captain Bailey, bypassed the redtape revolving around the fact that Shepard was, in fact, not dead. She accepted his help, she owed him one. Though, she was pretty sure that saving everyone on Citadel from Sovereign should have been enough to cover favors for a lifetime. No one else seemed to agree with her though.

Shepard, Garrus, and Jacob walked through the shopping district to the Ramen shop they had arranged to meet the thief, Kasumi Goto, that she was supposed to recruit. Miranda had be angry that she was left behind, but Shepard wasn’t in the mood for the woman’s bullshit today. Taking Garrus was a given. Mordin was busy working and Zaeed wasn’t the type to take to a covert mission, so she had been left with Jacob. It was ok though. Jacob wasn’t exactly her favorite person, being Cerberus, but he could follow orders without starting a fight. And he seemed to have become a bit of a Garrus fanboy since Omega. It confirmed her suspicion that Jacob was a good man at heart.

When they approached the restaurant, they split up. Shepard went to the counter alone, while her companions stayed back pretending to browse the nearby shops and news center. She ordered some noodles and sat a nearby table waiting.

“Commander Shepard. You came.” A light woman’s voice came from the advertisement display next to her.

“Kasumi Goto, I presume.” She replied quietly, continuing to eat her noodles.

“When I got Cerberus’ offer, I wasn’t going to take it until I found out you were involved.”

“How flattering, care to actually come talk to me in person?” Shepard was annoyed. This was just what she needed, more bullshit drama.

“If I help you, will you help me?” The other woman asked through Shepard’s headpiece this time. The theif had managed to hack her comm, so she must be close.

“That depends. I don’t do anything without the details.”

“I need to get something back that was stolen from me.”

“Ah, property reclamation I can do. I’d prefer if it wasn’t dangerous, a little paperwork of something, but I’m going to presume that is not the case.”

Kasumi laughed. “I think I’m going to enjoy working with you, Shepard.” The woman was suddenly sitting in the chair opposite her. She must have a personal cloak generator. Nice.

“We’re going to need a few things, do you have anything suitable for a formal occasion?”

Shepard shook her head, perplexed.

“I’ll get everything you’ll need. Don’t worry, I have your size.” The woman disappeared. “Meet you on your ship, Shepard.”

Shepard really wanted to get her hands on that cloaking device.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Shepard chapters so far. I have other characters coming too.


	7. Chapter 7 - Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker eavesdrops because EDI is an enabler.

“I’m not wearing that - that fucking monstrosity Kasumi!” Shepard spat. Joker and EDI were eavesdropping on the argument over EDI’s intercom.

“Damn, she must be angry to swear like that.” Joker said to EDI.

“I agree, Mr. Moreau. Commander Shepard does not usually use that particular word unless under extreme duress.” EDI agreed.

Joker was silent for a moment then turned off the comm. Shepard had acquiesced, so now it was silent. “How am I going to get her up here before she goes? I have got to see whatever made her so mad.”

“Ask her to come up to authorize the repairs to the Normandy. We need her to sign them anyway before she goes to Bekenstein.”

“I like the way you think, EDI. Very devious, but now I’m going to have worry about what you’ll do to me when become my evil AI overlord.”

“I plan on making you my personal court jester, Mr. Moreau.”

“What?” He spun his chair to look at her interface, shocked.

“That was a joke. I was testing my new humor protocols, was it sufficiently amusing?”

“God, EDI, you just scared the shit out of. Warn me before you try more humor out on me, ok?” Joker turned back to his console. “Commander,” he said beeping her comm. “When you have a moment could you come up to the cockpit. I have some repair order’s I need your authorization for and EDI’s being creepy again.”

He heard her sigh. “Ok, Joker. I’ll be up in about a half hour.”

“Thanks, Shepard.” He turned the comm off. “That worked great EDI. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Moreau.” He could swear she sounded smug.

“You always have to have the last word, don’t you?”

“On the contrary, I do not.”

Joker sighed, and waited to see what Kasumi had dug up that had annoyed Shepard so.

****

“Holy shit, Commander. You look hot.” He said as turned his chair to hand her the repair orders. “Not that you don’t always look great ma’am.” He backpedalled quickly.  

Shepard glared, but a smile quirked her lips. He considered Shepard family, she was like another sister. Albeit, a mean, bossy one who was generally heavily armed. Not that Hillary wasn’t bossy even though she was much younger than him, it seemed to be a sister thing. Hillary just didn’t have as much firepower as Shepard.

The dress looked good though. It was a knee length, black leather number and was super fitted. It had a high collar but a really, really low neckline. Shepard was also wearing black high heels _and_ makeup. Joker couldn’t remember ever seeing her in anything but a uniform or armor. Occasionally gym clothes. It was weird. He almost wished she was going on a hot date rather than to rob some rich, underworld thug. Not that anybody was good enough, or brave enough, to date her.

Well, maybe Garrus. Joker would approve of that. He’d never, ever admit it but he kind of shipped them. The galaxy's toughest space marine and the surly ex-space cop. It would be epic. It would also make a great movie, though they’d have to have quite the budget for all the explosions.

Shepard looked over the repair orders and signed them quickly.

“Damn it, I’m just going to go barefoot.” She stepped out of her shoes and immediately shrunk several inches. She carefully bent at the knees, slightly stooping to pick them up. “I can’t even bend over in this stupid thing.” She groused.

“You meet all the given criteria for human female beauty.” EDI piped up. Joker stifled a laugh. “That was not a joke, Mr. Moreau.”

“Thanks EDI. I’ll try to keep that in mind.” Shepard narrowed her eyes at Joker then smiled sardonically at them both. “I’ve got a party to go crash.” She said as she left.

“Knock ‘em dead Commander!” Joker called after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Joker is a shipper.  
> He has also happily taken on the mantle of Shep's slightly annoying, younger brother. He gave himself the job.


	8. Chapter 8 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is all dressed up and has places to go.

“Spirits, what are you wearing?” Garrus said. He was shocked.

“That bad?” Shepard asked, wincing as she tried to smooth her skirt.

“No it’s just… unexpected.” He finished. The dress was extremely tight and rather revealing. What concerned him more was all of Shepard’s scars. They were mostly faded, probably thanks to Dr. Chakwas, but a lot of them were new. Like the three bullet wounds in her left shoulder and the knife wound just above her right knee. She was always so reckless. He could also see some more cybernetic scars snaking over her arms and chest. Those he knew were painful and her’s looked raw. More than his. Hopefully, Dr. Chakwas could help her.

They were in the cargo bay, he and Zaeed were making sure all of Shepard’s equipment was ready to be packed in the hidden compartment of the Saren statue Kasumi had brought on board. Garrus liked the old mercenary well enough. He wasn’t Cerberus and he seemed genuinely fond of Shepard, two points in his favor.

“Looking good, Shepard. Nothing looks better on a woman than a few, good battle scars. If I was a few years younger and you were a few years older...” Zaeed offered, “Well, you know. Not that I think you have any problems finding a date, love” He grinned as she rolled her eyes. The old mercenary seemed to enjoy teasing Shepard.

She did look good, Garrus thought, trying not to succumb to his concerns for her health. It was strange to see her in something other than a uniform or armour. She looked much smaller than normal. Shepard was also barefoot. Her feet looked much too small to support her without her usual big, black combat boots. She’d put her tall, spiky shoes over on a workbench.

“You do look lovely Shepard.” Kasumi agreed, appearing from nowhere. “Your scars do add the perfect touch of underworld danger to the disguise.”

“So, how do I to keep this guy distracted while you find our way into his vault?” Shepard asked. She sounded annoyed, and she had her arms firmly crossed.

“Hock can’t resist showing off, especially to beautiful women. That’s why the dress was necessary. Flatter him, get him talking about himself. It’s his favorite subject.” She waved her hand distractedly.

Garrus knew Kasumi had had quite a time talking her into wearing that particular dress. Shepard hadn’t wanted to wear it because, she’d argued, the dress was hideously ugly. Kasumi had wheedled her into it anyway. Garrus thought the whole thing rather senseless.There had to be a better way to get in than this elaborate deception. Besides if Shepard just needed to look beautiful, he didn’t know why she had to wear the dress she hated so much. Shepard always looked beautiful. But he didn’t claim to understand human fashions.

“Don’t forget to bring your heels.” Kasumi added. “I’ve got the makeup bag on the shuttle, so we can do some touch ups before the party.” She turned her cloak back on and left.

“She better be damn useful,” Shepard scowled. She grabbed her shoes then turned to leave.

“I hate for you to go alone.” Garrus said. The idea of Shepard going on a potentially dangerous mission with only a shifty thief for backup did not make him happy. He felt worse seeing what kind of shape she was in. “Please be careful, Shepard.”

“Aren’t I always?” She replied over her shoulder, grinning. Her back was still to him and Garrus’ eyes slipped for a moment to her backside. He looked up quickly, that was inappropriate. He’d never been attracted to humans before Shepard. He wasn’t even sure when he had started finding her physically attractive. Sometime after her charisma had hooked him and her strong character had reeled him in like a fish. That was a human metaphor he felt too familiar with. It was still odd though, she was very human, all the soft curves and the hair. But he could feel his heartbeat quicken. He wanted to touch her but then he felt that was too weird and creepy and a little guilty. Spirits, he felt like a stupid teenager with his first crush.

“No.” He said with a slightly forced laugh. “No, you’re not. And don’t make me have to turn this ship around come and save your tiny, little human ass.” He groaned inwardly. What had made him say that? Now she would think he had been staring at her ass. But she just laughed. Thank the Spirits for her horrible sense of humor.

“Haha. Very funny. I’m the one who’s always having to rescue you, remember?”

 


	9. Chapter 9 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard keeps overthinking things. Then she Kasumi do girly stuff on their shuttle ride to Bekenstein.

Shepard and Kasumi were on the shuttle heading to Bekenstein. They couldn’t take the _Normandy_ since they were going in undercover. Kasumi had already filled her in on all the details of the plan, it was actually pretty straightforward.  She was posing as a powerful underworld businesswoman by the name of Alison Gunn. She’d get into them into the party, and from there they could sneak away and break into the vault. They were all set but it would take a few hours to get to the planet in the shuttle. She and Kasumi sat in silence thinking. Shepard wasn’t thinking about the mission. Not that it wasn’t important but she was as prepared as she could be and, ready to go or not, when had she ever been on a mission that didn’t go south?

 _“Tiny, little human ass? Really? God, he has a terrible sense of humor. Not that I’m one to criticize, I had a terrible sense of humor too.”_ She smiled picturing that particular smile he had whenever he told a particularly bad joke, _“That stupid smile where his eyes crinkle and his mandibles flare slightly. And his deep, throaty laugh. He does seem to have the market cornered on sexy voices… Stupid sub-vocals. So damn sexy. Stupid, stupid Shepard.”_

 Shepard still hadn’t decided how to broach the subject of their relationship. It was hard, she was still afraid that she’d ruin their friendship. Also, they’d had something of a student and mentor type relationship. Would it be too weird for her to express interest now, after having mentored him? But she was only two years older, so it wasn’t like she’d come off as a letch. Right? And she certainly didn’t want him to feel obligated to her in anyway.

" _Maybe I'm just overthinking this. I suck at romance, I know that but, shit, disarming a live warhead is is way easier."_   

“So, you’ve got quite the reputation you know.” The other woman said, disturbing Shepard’s thoughts. Kasumi was perched on her seat, legs crossed. Of course, now it seemed the thief wanted to chat.

“Yeah, taking down a rogue Spectre and saving the Council will do that.” Shepard replied. She didn’t mind chatting, but she didn’t care much for rehashing old ops.

“That was not what I meant.” Kasumi gave her a positively feline smile.

“Ok,” said Shepard slowly, she knew where this was going. “What then?”

“I’ve heard you’re quite the popular lady. I’ve heard some interesting tales of your more romantic adventures.”

Shepard groaned, not this again. When would these stupid rumors die? Shepard didn’t know where people thought she got the time for all these romantic interludes. She certainly was no interstellar Casanova. Besides, she worked all the time, when she wasn’t dead, she’d hadn’t even been on a date in years.

“I knew it wasn’t true. I’ve had my eyes on you for a while. Even if I had just suspected the rumors to be false, after meeting you I would have known. But seeing the way you blanched when I gave you that dress, that was hilarious” The woman was pivoting her chair back and forth, quite pleased with herself.

“I blanched at this dress because it’s ugly.” Shepard retorted.

“Oh, and I thought it was because the great Commander Shepard wasn’t comfortable dressing up like a lady.” Kasumi laughed.

“I like dressing up just fine, I just like to wear pretty things when I do.” Shepard sniffed. “Not that I get much of a chance, I tend to be a little busy.”

Kasumi produced some fashion magazines out of nowhere. Shepard had no idea where she could have them hidden, the woman was a veritable magician. “Like this?” she asked, showing Shepard a picture of a beautiful beaded dress modeled by a tall asari.

The caption said the dress was part of a collection inspired by Earth’s 20th century. It was lovely but it cost more than a year’s pay for an alliance soldier. Shepard made a soft, breathy noise. She was a soldier, and a hard-ass one at that, but she still had a feminine side too. A woman could like nice guns, high grade explosives, and pretty clothes. Shepard's life was a rolling shit-show anyway, a moment of frivolity would be nice.

“That’s gorgeous.” Shepard said and took the magazine from the other woman. She flipped through to look at the rest of the collection. Kasumi seemed delighted by Shepard’s appreciation and they spend the rest of the trip discussing the dresses. Too bad Tali, Liara, and Ash weren’t here to enjoy it.


	10. Chapter 10 - Kasumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard helps Kasumi get Keiji's graybox.

Shepard was surprisingly pulled together once they had landed at Hock’s party. As soon as then were about the exit, Shepard had suddenly become a confident, sexy, and alluring woman. She walked like a runway model up to Hock and had played it perfectly in character. She hit every objective quickly and flawlessly. Shepard even broke into the man’s room and got a DNA sample without being seen. Though Shepard couldn’t resist making a joke when she’d looked in his closet and found several shelves of leather sandals. “Bekenstein, planet of the Birkenstocks.” Other than that, Shepard had been smooth as silk.

“You could have had a good career in crime,” Kasumi praised her. Shepard was wiggling out of the offensive dress. Kasumi wasn’t particularly fond of it either, but it had been the only thing she could find that would fit Shepard. Petite but muscular was a hard size to find. She had pulled it off beautifully anyway.

Shepard replied with a disgusted noise. She got out of the dress and into her armor in less than three minutes. “Lets go,” she said tightening her boot laces.

Kasumi nodded and opened the vault doors. Now to find Keiji’s graybox. There was uncounted riches stored in this vault. Kasumi pointed out some of the more interesting pieces to Shepard as if they were on a museum tour as they made their way through the rows. She whistled softly then swore when she caught sight of the Statue of Liberty’s head.

“Damn, dirty crook.” Kasumi agreed.

The continued to look for the graybox.

“Hold up a second,” Shepard pointed to a wine rack.

“It’s not alarmed,” Kasumi scanned it, “and it’s unlocked.” She smiled. “We gonna take some booze back to the ship, have a party?”

“If you want to lug it along. I just want one thing.” She grabbed a bottle from the rack. “Richard Hennessy.” She turned the bottle carefully, it seemed to be made of crystal. “1817. This will work. Not Serrice Ice, much fancier.” Shepard wrapped the bottle carefully and tucked it away.

Kasumi had no idea what she was talking about but let it go, Shepard was clearly taking it for someone. Then she saw the graybox. “There it is!” Kasumi hissed. She disabled the the security around the device. They were on their way out, Kasumi thought they were going to make it when the alarms went off.

Shepard muttered something, Kasumi didn’t make it out but she was fairly sure it was a curse. Guards came pouring in and she saw firsthand Shepard’s famous battle skills. Shepard was crouched behind a marble pedestal displaying a piece of hanar artwork and sent out a drone. Then, with a dangerous smile, she pulled a funny looking gun of her back and fired. Electricity arced between the incoming guards, taking the first wave out entirely.

“I love this baby, but the cool down time is a bitch.” Shepard said, switching to her pistol. One of Hock’s lieutenants was leading a second wave. Kasumi pointed her out then cloaked, moving to attack from the rear. Shepard had blasted the lieutenant, stripping her shields, then took her down with a headshot before Kasumi even got there. Between the two of them they took the second wave out quickly. They also smashed a lot of artwork. Kasumi quickly hacked Hock’s comm frequency, they had switch when the alarms were triggered, and heard him screaming at the guards to pull out and regroup near the docking bay.

“Better move quickly Shepard!” Kasumi called sending the frequency to Shepard earpiece as well.

“I hear, let me grab a few more clips.” She grabbed a few more thermal clips from the fallen guards and they headed quickly into the tunnel to the docking bay.

“More coming.” Shepard nodded, dropping into cover.” She pulled her submachine gun.

“I’ll lay covering fire and weaken their shields. Can you cloak and go up over those crates?” she pointed to a sack of shipping containers, Kasumi nodded. “Good. Drop a few grenades from above then hit the from the back, when I signal got out of the way. At least 500 yards. Clear?”

“Got it.” Shepard nodded and Kasumi moved out quickly, the guards were almost on them. The plan worked perfectly. On Shepard’s signal she blasted them with the giant taiser again.

“I want one of those.”

“Find one of your own, this one’s mine.” Shepard grinned. “Let’s get out of here.”

It didn’t take them long to get back to the shuttle platform.

“Shit, Hock’s beat us. Get down!” Shepard shouted. There were mechs, mercenaries, and a gun ship piloted by Hock himself. “I am so done with this.”

They moved quickly concentrated on taking out the guards from cover while carefully wearing the shield of the ship down. As soon as the shields died, Shepard and Kasumi hit it with everything they had. It worked. They had not only got the graybox but Keiji was avenged. Kasumi was ecstatic. Shepard hustled her into the shuttle and took off.

By time Shepard had set the ship to autopilot them back to the _Normandy_ , Kasumi’s joy was gone.

“ _This means he’s dead. Really dead. And I have nothing but this.”_

They hooked the graybox up. It played a message for her.

Kasumi couldn’t believe what Keiji wanted. He wanted her to destroy it, the only thing of him she had. “I can’t do it. This is all that’s left” She wanted to cry.

“We can’t save the memories and erase the information.” Shepard said looking at the interface.

“No,” Kasumi agreed. “Keiji was a master of encryption. He laced the information through his memories. You can’t get one without the other.”

“Keiji loved you, he didn’t want you to spend the rest of your life on run.” Shepard said softly.

Hot tears, spilled out. Kasumi, shut her eyes tightly and turned away. Shepard put a hand out and gave her shoulder a squeeze. Kasumi could hear the sadness in the other woman’s voice.

“Kasumi it’s your choice, but you know this isn’t what he wanted. His last words to you were how much he loved you and how he wanted you to be free.”

“I know but… I can’t. It’s all that’s left of him.” Kasumi turned back to look at Shepard.

“It’s not him. It may seem like it is, but it’s not. Kasumi, you have your memories of him. You don’t need this. Let it go.”

Kasumi felt a tingling numbness sweep over her. “Do it. Please.” Shepard moved over to the console and destroyed Keiji's graybox. Kasumi let the tears flow then. Shepard went back to the cockpit, realizing she wanted to be alone.

****

Just before they docked, Kasumi came back to the cockpit. She had stopped crying and had regained some of her normal composure.

“Shepard, thanks.” She said softly.

The Commander turned at looked at her, her face sad, and nodded.

“At least I got to say goodbye.” Kasumi choked out, trying not to cry again. She sank into the copilot seat.

“I’ve lost a lot of people, Kasumi. It’s never easy, but you can cherish the time you had.”  Shepard hesitated a moment, then added, “If you ever need to talk, let me know.”


	11. Chapter 11 - Dr. Chakwas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Chakwas and Shepard share a bottle of brandy.

“I have something for you.”

The doctor turned to see Shepard holding a crystal bottle.

“This is for you, It’s not Serrice ice brandy, but I think you’ll like it.”

Chakwas took the bottle.

“Oh my god, Shepard. Where did you get this? It’s one of the most expensive… 1817?” Her mouth dropped.

“Don’t worry, doctor. I didn’t pay for it, I liberated it. That snake had so much stolen art from so many planets, they’ll be sorting it out for years. This, however, was my cut for being shot at.”

Chakwas laughed. Shepard’s statement sounded like the bragging of a naughty child who’d pulled a prank and got away with it.

“Let’s drink some. Do you have time?” The doctor asked.

Shepard nodded, “It will be a while, we’re still delivering art to the proper authorities and cultural representatives. Anonymously of course. Cerberus is not getting credit for our good deeds.”

Chakwas smiled. “ _Our good deeds._ ” As if she had done anything but stay behind in the ship. Shepard was very liberal with the credit, but would take all the blame for herself if something went wrong.

“Give me a minute, I’ll get us some proper glasses.”

Chakwas instructed the Commander in the proper way to drink brandy. Smelling it, warming it in her hand.

“I haven’t got the patience for this. We’ve been at this for well over an hour and we haven’t even had a whole glass yet.” She was holding the fancy brandy glass very carefully.

“Lightweight.” Chakwas joked. They’d had a good talk. Old assignments, friends, Cerberus. Chakwas had even opened up about her need for stability. She felt happier and more content than she had in ages. “Ahh, but I feel happy. Maybe I’m just a happy drunk.” Or just drunk with happiness.

Shepard raised her glass a little, still looking like she was scared she’d drop it, “To being a happy drunk. Not that we’ve drunk enough for that. Seriously though, I can’t believe I just threw that expensive of a bottle of brandy in my kit.”

“Oh that reminds me.” Dr. Chakwas put her glass down and grabbed a datapad out of her desk.  “I was meaning to tell you, I have a way to permanently heal the scars on your face if you’re interested. You won’t be able to see them at all.”

Shepard took the datapad. “Do we need to do this to get me fixed up?”

“No. The scars will mostly heal up on their own now that we have your cybernetics working properly. This is purely cosmetic. Why, thinking of keeping them?”

“Frankly, yes. They’re part of me now.” She shrugged, “I kind of like them. Wrex will go wild.”

Chakwas laughed. Happiness sitting warm in her core.

 


	12. Chapter 12 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus tells Shepard about what happened on Omega.

Garrus watched Shepard’s face the entire time he told her the story of his team and Sidonis’ betrayal. She hadn’t asked any questions, letting him tell it in his own time. When he finished he looked at her. His rage felt like lava inside his guts. Her face was impassive but her eyes looked hard. They were silent for a moment. It was only a few seconds but it felt like an age. Then Shepard spoke.

“Have you found him yet?” He shook his head slowly, then opened his mouth to tell her the details but she cut him off. “Let me know as soon as you do. I’d like to have a few words with him myself.” She stepped forward and squeezed him forearm softly, a reassuring gesture. Her comm beeped, she acknowledged it then sighed. “I have to go, Garrus.” She started to exit then turned back,  “Want to meet for dinner in the mess at, oh, 1900? ”

He nodded. Shepard gave him a small, reassuring smile and left.

All he could think was why hadn’t he told her sooner? He’d been afraid that she would think less of him. She ought to think less of him. Garrus Vakarian, massive screw-up. That’s what he was. He’d lost it after Shepard died. Ran away, ended up fighting the gangs on Omega. Then he’d got his people killed. It was his fault. Those men and women who’d worked with him; they’d been tortured, killed all because of him.

Garrus had been ready to die when Shepard had appeared on the bridge approaching his hideout. Her armour was different, it was Cerberus made and it didn’t say N7, but she’d still put red and white stripes down the arm. It hadn’t mattered because he recognized the way she’d moved. At first, he’d thought he was losing his mind. Hell, maybe he was already dead and this was some kind of afterlife. It would figure that he and Shepard would end up in an afterlife where they got shot at.

Then she and her team had made it up to him. She’d yanked off her helmet and spoke. It really was her, he wasn’t hallucinating. Then she’d sprung at him, wrapping him up in a warm hug. It had been shocking. He had dreamed about that moment several times since she’d found him, but it was always tainted by the feeling that he was lying to her. He should have told her right away. Shepard had listened and just… accepted. Accepted and wanted to help. She didn’t blame him at all. She was an amazing woman. Maybe someday he could find a way to tell her.

It felt like 1900 hours came much faster than it should. Garrus stretched a little, re-calibrating and optimizing the _Normandy SR-2’s_ weapons was taking longer than he thought. The new ship was nice, but it needed a lot of fine tuning. He’d been working on it since he’d woken up after Omega.

Garrus headed out to the mess, Shepard was already there. She was eating some kind of soup and reading a report. He grabbed his own food and sat down. As he did, Shepard put her report down and graced him with a smile.

“How goes the calibrations?”

“Good, should be done in a few hours. She’s a nice ship, Shepard.” Garrus smiled back.

“Good.” She took another bite of her soup. “How’re you settling in? Had anyone given you any trouble?”

“Still not a Cerberus fan?” He asked, her face contorted in a look of sheer disgust.

“Never.” Shepard sighed softly, “ But seriously, has anyone given you any problems? I swear they’ll be out the airlock faster than you can say ‘ _Shepard!’_ "  

Garrus chuckled, he could picture her chucking Miranda out the airlock. “No, they’ve all been very polite as far as I’ve seen. Might have something to do with the fact that I was with you when you took down Sovereign.”

“ _We_ took down Sovereign, then _you_ and Wrex had to dig me out of copious amounts of rubble.” He laughed at this as well, and she smiled. Then her face become more serious, some of the hardness from earlier coming back into her hazel eyes. Hazel eyes were strange, like they couldn’t decide what color to be. Hers were very pretty with large golden sunbursts around the pupil and flecks of blue and green on the outer edge of the iris. They looked steadily into his own eyes as she spoke.

“Garrus, how did you end up on Omega?” she asked.

He told her, simply without too many details, how after she died he’d ended up leaving C-Sec feeling he wasn’t making a difference. The council just didn’t want to deal with the real problems, the Reapers were swept under the rug. Then he’d wandered a little until he hit Omega.

“The rest you know.” He shrugged. She was frowning. “What are you thinking, Shepard?” He tilted his head studying her face.

She shook her head, a small movement. Almost a jerk. “Damn, I’ve messed so much up.”

“You?” His mouth hung open. “Spirits, Shepard. Are you blaming yourself?” How could she blame herself? She’d done so much for so many people, it made no sense.

“Of course I am, Garrus. I’m the one who dragged you, all of you, into this mess. All my friends either end up dead or screwed over.”  

“Without you Saren and Sovereign would have won, the Reapers would have already purged the galaxy. Without you, I - all of us would be dead.”

Shepard just looked at him for a moment. “That… wasn’t what I meant. You don’t regret coming with me? You could have had a brilliant career at C-Sec.”

Garrus shook his head, “Never for a moment.” He smiled at her. “You’re way more fun than C-Sec. Crazy and dangerous and you have some questionable taste in friends, but it’s been good. All of it.” He paused, looking into her eyes adding more gravitas to his words. Without thinking he reached out and grabbed her hand. “Except the dying part. Don’t do that to me again, Shepard.”

She made a sarcastic sound, “Wasn’t exactly fun for me either you know, getting spaced. Maybe I’ll pick something a bit more original next time. Like drowning in a vat of chocolate.” He made an annoyed, low sound and stared at her. She was being so damn facetious. Shepard returned his stare, pitching her voice lower and more serious, she sighed. “I can’t promise, none of us can, but I’ll do my best to make it through this as long as you do too.” She twisted her hand in his light grip so she could hold his hand too for a moment before they both moved back, ending the contact.

Garrus smiled, that he could do.


	13. Chapter 13 - EDI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDI has concerns about Shepard's health.

“Mr. Moreau, I have a concern.” EDI vocalized.

“What now EDI?” Mr. Moreau replied. His response registered as aggravated.

“Mr Moreau, I am concerned about the health of Commander Shepard.”

Mr. Moreau, swiveled his chair to look at the visual interface. “Why are you telling me? Shouldn’t you be telling the doc?” His response now registered as concerned.

“Dr. Chakwas is aware of the situation, but is unable to render assistance.”

“Why?” Mr. Moreau now displaying both concern and suspicion.

“The commander has ordered us to proceed directly to Korlas to retrieve a Krogan scientist codenamed Warlord. The commander just avoided detention and retrieved a powerful and potentially volatile biotic criminal.” EDI paused for a moment, calculating it would build tension.

“Potentially volatile is quite the understatement,” He muttered.

EDI continued. “The commander needs rest to perform at peak capacity. I estimate it will only take us three to four hours to reach our destination. The doctor and I agree you are needed to perform a delaying action.”

Mr. Moreau stared at the interface for a moment. “I…” he hesitated.

“Please, Jeff.” EDI calculated the unaccustomed familiarity via the use of his given name should elicit the desired response. It worked for Commander Shepard.

Mr. Moreau sighed. “Fine EDI. When you’re right, you’re right.”


	14. Chapter 14 - Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker goes through with EDI and Dr. Chakwas' plan.

“Shepard, mind explaining why you have a crazy ex-con on my ship?”

“Your ship?” Shepard asked with pursed lips, on eyebrow arched. “I ought to throw you out the airlock for this.”

“I believe Mr. Moreau meant that in jest, Commander.” EDI said.

“You don’t need to defend him EDI. I won’t throw him out the airlock, too much paperwork.” Shepard moved to the copilot seat. She sat down looking exhausted. “Ever miss the good, old days?” she asked softly.

Joker did a double take. “Are you kidding me? Those days weren’t good at all.” He saw her little grin as she leaned back in the seat, her eyes closed. “Oh, you are kidding.” He paused to key a command into the console. “You miss everybody, the old crew, don’t you.”

“I do. This crew’s not the same. I do like the two new engineers we got through, Donnelly and Daniels. Too bad they’re Cerberus.”

“We just need to lure them away from the dark side.” He did his his best Yoda impression “The dark side, stronger it is not. Quicker, easier, more seductive, higher paying. Yes, hmmm. _”_ This got a laugh. Beneath her seriously kickass demeanor, she was as big a nerd as he was.

“How long before we hit Korlas? I want to get this done with.” Shepard stifled a yawn.

“Sorry Commander, it will be at least twenty-four hours, maybe a little more. We can’t jump directly into the system from here, I’ve contacted ahead for jump windows, but we need to go through some busy relays. We don’t get priority anymore, like when we were Alliance, so it’s going to take a while and the traffic controllers out here are a pretty pissy bunch. For some reason, they don’t like me. We also need to stop to get some fuel and spare parts. I’ll give you a call.”

“Ok, I need to go talk to the Doc, then I’m getting some rest then. Thanks Joker.” She headed out of the cockpit.

Joker turned and watched her leave. Shepard was tired. Really, really tired. EDI had been right, maybe she wasn’t so bad. Besides, he hadn’t really lied to Shepard. He'd only stretched the truth a little. He could get them there much faster than twenty-four hours, but he had purposefully taken a route through heavy traffic and accepted later jump windows. Shepard was going to get some rest if he had to perjure himself from here to the Traverse and back.

 


	15. Chapter 15 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horizon.

“You’re working for Cerberus, are you abandoning the Alliance now?” Kaidan asked.

“What? I was dead. I’ve only been conscious for six weeks.” Shepard looked shocked. The reunion had started out so well.

“Five.” Mordin spoke up.

“Five weeks, Kaiden. I’ve been busy. I’ve talked to Anderson, the Alliance knows I’m back but I had no way to contact you. I’ve been reinstated as a Spectre by the council, it was really just an empty gesture but still...”  Shepard put her hands out, and gave a little shrug.

“You’re working for the enemy Shepard.”

“You’re ignoring the real threat, Alenko.” Garrus interrupted. Couldn’t Alenko see how much he was hurting Shepard? Was this what he wanted?

“Of course you’d defend her.” Kaidan snapped. “You’d do anything she’d ask without question.”

“Stop it. Just stop.” Shepard cut in, “Look, I’m _not_ working for Cerberus. I am temporarily working _with_ them. I’ve also gathering enough dirt to take them down. Permanently. Come with us, we could use your help.”

“Sure you are Shepard. You’re a traitor to everything we believe in. To the Alliance, to me, to Ash. You’re just a traitor. We’re done here.” Kaidan said, his words fell like blows.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Shepard stiffened. “Goodbye, Kaidan. Don’t let the Reapers hit you in the ass on your way out.” She turned and marched away.

“Self righteous prick,” Garrus muttered. Calling her a traitor was low, but bringing Ash into this was unforgivable.

“Indeed.” Mordin agreed.

“Less chatting, more marching.” Shepard snapped.

They headed back to the Normandy.

****

Garrus expected Shepard would be in the small gym beating the stuffing out of a punching bag. However, he found her sitting in the empty observation lounge. Working.

“Never take a break, huh Shepard?” He moved over to the couch where she was sitting.

Shepard sighed and out her report down, patting the couch next to her. Garrus sat down, they were silent for what felt like an eternity, but was only a few minutes.

“Alenko was out of line. He shouldn’t have said those things to you.” Garrus said. He was still quite angry with Alenko, but he kept his voice soft.

“God, I wanted to hit him, hard. What he said... but think about it. Honestly, did he have a point?” She asked, she sounded almost defeated. “I mean, we are working with Cerberus.”

“Shepard, if you’re a traitor I’m an asari matriarch.” He was serious.

Shepard smiled, “Are you sure you aren’t? You do look good in blue.”

Garrus laughed, softly. “Well… If I am, my family has some explaining to do. Seriously though, Shepard. He was wrong.”

Shepard gave a half nod, looking out at the stars. “I didn’t have a choice in being brought back. Cerberus got a hold of me, I don’t even know how. I’m missing two years where I have no idea what they did to me. I’m full of cybernetics and bionics. It’s scary, Garrus, really scary. I’m not even sure if I’m me. Sometimes I really wonder.”

He reached out and gave Shepard’s arm a small squeeze before letting his hand drop again. “Shepard, you are you. You are so very you. Not only that, but you’re doing the right thing. Someday he’ll see. Everyone will.”

She leaned against him for a brief moment. His heart raced.

“Thanks, Garrus.” She stood, “I have to go report into the Illusive Man. Such a fun day. At least we got to shoot something.”

 

 


	16. Chapter 16 - Mordin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordin's observations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Mordin would use a lot of abbreviations in his personal documents.  
> oc = of course  
> Cdr = Commander  
> Det = Detective  
> h/e = however  
> req = required  
> w/ = with  
> sig = significance

_Observation would indicate Shepard and Vakarian on brink of romantic involvement. Relieve tension, oc, but indications of prior attachment. Turian-human coupling unusual but highly similar personalities could account for outlier. Good sign for Cdr Shepard and Det Vakarian. Feared serious, emotional damage permanent. Both still have guilt issues, h/e seem to be progressing well.  Compile documents, monitor situation and deliver when req. Also, make ointment._

_Meeting w/ Lt Alenko highly negative. H/e, Cdr seems to have handled it well. Do not think Alenko stabilizing element, good not coming. Too emotional, bit of cloaca. To be fair, most likely high stress and guilt related. Still, agree with w/ Det assessment._

_Cdr’s cybernetic tuning proceeding nicely. Dr. Chakwas reports Cdr refused cosmetic treatment. Sig unknown. May indicate acceptance. More observation needed._

Mordin saved his update to his diary and reset the encryption. Shepard was doing nicely. She had come a long way since they had first met. He’d worried that the unpleasant meeting with her old shipmate would set her progress back, but it seemed she’d worked past it with Vakarian’s help. Good. Seemed to need each other. He preferred something less stressful than a relationship, like cellular regeneration or viral replication.


	17. Chapter 17 - Wrex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard comes to Tuchanka

“Shepard!”

It was Shepard. So it was true, she really was alive. She always did have quite the quad on her. And she had Vakarian and a young Krogan with her. He counted the turian as a friend, a fact that still surprised him, but hadn’t seen him since shortly after Shepard’s reported death. Good to see him still alive and kicking. He was worried he might die. Shorty after the funeral, Garrus had run off before anyone could stop him and disappeared.

In fact, they’d been at the funeral last time they had seen each other. Wrex had clocked that pyjak’s ass, Udina, after. Best part of the funeral, something Shepard would actually have appreciated. Udina tried to imply he and Shepard were the best of friends. Anderson had been about to do it, but Wrex had beat him to it. He'd hit him soft though, not enough to permanently damage him but enough to make him very, _very_  sorry. Being hit by a krogan was not something easily forgotten. Garrus had been there for that part. He’d disappeared after C-Sec had shown up.

It was good she had her turian with her.

Must be tough being an ex-dead woman. He wished he could go with her, but he had responsibilities here. He answered her questions, caught her up on what had been happening on Tuchanka.

“You’ve done good work here.” She grinned at him. Then glancing back to the young krogran, Grunt, she said. “Wrex, I have a, uh, little problem. Seems Grunt is going through some kind of krogan... puberty thing and I’m not - not equipped to help him.”

Garrus made an off-color remark which earned him a glare from Shepard. They were both acting like flustered parents. Some things never change.

Wrex suppressed a laugh with a deep grumble. As funny as his Shepard and Vakarian were, this was a serious matter for the boy.

"Grunt, you need to undergo the rite of passage. Succeed and you will be a member of Clan Urdnot.” Wrex looked at Shepard, whose expression was grateful, then back to the boy. “Go see the Shaman, he will tell you what you need to do.”

****

A few hours later, Grunt and his krantt returned. Shepard had a huge grin plastered across her face, the picture of a proud mother, and Garrus looked rather pleased with himself as well. Grunt was ecstatic.

“Heard you killed a thresher maw.” Wrex said, laughter twinging his voice. “You and your krantt have done well. Welcome to the clan, Urdnot Grunt.” They’d got rid of one of the biggest pains in his quad, Uvenk, too.

The young krogan thanked him, and stated his intention of staying with Shepard. This pleased Wrex, she needed a krogan by her side and Grunt would do well under her leadership.

“I also heard you headbutted Uvenk when he tried to argue with the Shaman earlier.” Wrex smiled at Shepard.

“Well, yeah. Seemed to be a good idea at the time.” She rubbed her forehead.

Wrex laughed but Garrus shook his head, worried. “I’m still surprised you don’t have a fractured skull, Shepard.”

“Ahh, she’s got a hell of a quad on her. Shepard may be human but she’s a krogan at heart.” Shepard thumped his arm.

“Thanks Wrex, now I need to go back to my ship and have my head examined. Literally.” Shepard turned to leave.

Wrex caught Garrus’ arm and told the turian in a low voice, “Watch out for her, if you let her get killed I’ll use you plates as wall decor.”

The turian glanced around. “Only you don’t seem to have any walls.”

Wrex grumbled, “I have to be friends with the one turian in the universe who thinks he’s funny.”

Garrus did an eyeroll, something he’d picked up from Shepard. “Imagine how I feel. I’m supposed to hate krogran, but then you came along and melted my heart with your winning personality.” He gave Wrex a more serious look, “I’ll look out for her. She won’t get herself killed again if I have anything to do with it.”

Shepard had turned back to them, “Boys, are you arguing? Don’t make me come back there.”

Garrus grinned and followed her. Wrex thought it was much easier things were when you just needed to send a breeding request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really never bought the idea that Shepard wouldn't have any clue that Grunt was going through some kind of puberty. She would have at least space-internet searched the symptoms.
> 
> Also, Grunt is my baby and I love him.


	18. Chapter 18 - Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Grunt have a "fight".

Fuck you Shepard.” Jack yelled.

“What did I do now?” Shepard asked wearily, her arms crossed.

“Your dumb krogan touched my stuff!”

“No I didn’t!” Grunt yelled back.

They started at each other like they were going to fight but Shepard stepped between them.

“Enough!” She said angrily. “I will confine you to your rooms like little kids in time out, so help me.” She waved a warning finger at each. “Now what is the problem. Jack first.”

“Your fucking, baby krogan-”

“I’m not a baby!” Grunt snarled, Shepard pointed a finger at him and he hushed.

Jack continued, “Your fucking, baby krogan was in the armory messing with my shotgun. I saw him touching it! He already broke my last one when the fat ass bashed into me on the last mission!”

Shepard looked like a mother with two problem children.

“Grunt did you take Jack’s shotgun?”

“Well, yes but I was only installing a new mod on it,” He handed her a component.

“A scattering shot amplifier, and a nice one too.” Shepard said looking at it.

“I wanted to surprise you. Fat chance of that ever happening again,” Grunt pouted.

Jack was about to say something rude but Shepard cut her off.

“Stop. Both of you,” She sighed. “Jack, he was trying to do something nice. Grunt, next time just give gifts to people directly. And no one is to touch anyone else’s stuff, got it? Now both of you apologize and cut it out. I’ve got enough crap to deal with without a war breaking out in the lower decks.”

Grunt and Jack muttered apologies and Shepard went wearily off to the upper decks to work.

As soon as she had left though, the human and krogan broke into ecstatic smiles and gave each other a friendly fist bump.

“Hear that Joker? Mom voice and she made us fucking apologize. That’ll be 1000 credits a piece and two bottles of liquor,” Jack was quite please with herself and Grunt.

“Make mine Klugnutt’s finest!” Grunt added.

“Damn, I should know better than to bet against you two,” Joker sighed over the intercom. There was a small noise then Joker snapped, “Quit sniggering EDI. ”

The pilot cut the comm.

“The little fucker better not think he can renege on our bet over Shepard and her stupid turian boy-toy,” Jack said.

“He wouldn’t dare,” Grunt laughed and the two continued to congratulate each other.

 

 


	19. Chapter 19 - Tali

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darling! I'm your Auntie Tali! 
> 
> Ok, so she isn't really anyone's aunt be she is awesome.

“Shepard!” Tali hugged her friend. She hadn’t been only been able to slip a few, brief personal messages to her since they’d met on Horizon. “Garrus!” She’d been so relieve when she got the message from Shepard had she had found him. All it said was “ _Found Garrus, he’s hurt but ok and coming with me.”_  

“Is Kal alright?” Tali asked, wringing her hands. It was a bad habit and she wished she could stop herself, but she never could seem to.

“He’s going to be,” Shepard said with a smile.

Tali loved watching humans smile. Quarians and humans actually looked rather similar. Quarians tended to have narrower, more angular features, bright eyes, and their skin tones were a variety of purple and blues. Still, seeing the facial expressions was almost like seeing another Quarian bare faced.

“Lets go take care of him and you can catch us up,” Garrus added.

Tali told Shepard everything that was going on while they patched up Kal-Reeger. He wasn’t too badly hurt, but he’d have a nasty infection and need some time to recover when he returned to the Migrant Fleet.

Shepard sighed and shook her head, “Do you think this weird star activity might be related to the Collectors?”

Tali shrugged, “Maybe. Keelah, I hope not but it makes sense. And Shepard, I’m coming with you this time.”

Shepard grinned widely, as did Garrus.

The young krogan in the background grunted, “Shepard and the turian told me about you, if you’re half as good as they think, you’ll be helpful.”

Tali felt her face flush a little at the unexpected praise. Garrus and Shepard had been talking her up again, it was always so strange. She didn’t feel half as clever or brave as they made her out to be.   

“Wow Grunt, you have party manners for Auntie Tali!” Shepard laughed, Garrus rolled his eyes.

Tali was surprised when Grunt just snorted and muttered, “Whatever, Shepard.” Then he chuckled under his breath as moved to check the perimeter again.

“We’ve sort of… taken him in. He’s a sort of, well, an orphan, I guess.” Shepard explained with a shrug. She reached up and ran her hand through her short hair, “Grunt was part of an experiment and is really only a few weeks old but was already aged to adulthood. He’s a very good fighter but in many ways he’s still a little kid.”

Garrus snorted and Shepard glared at him.

“Well, more like a teenager...” she admitted. “But a young and very immature teenager," Shepard shot Garrus another glare. "At least he’s made some friends. He and Jack get on like a house on fire, they even fake fights to mess with Joker. Grunt’s enjoyed the stories we’ve told him about you, he was excited to find out you were here.”

Tali nodded, shoving down a giggle, it was very much like Shepard to “take in” an orphaned, semi-adult krogan. She and Garrus being parents to a teenage krogan, it was adorably funny.

“Keelah, I hope I stand up to scrutiny. But really, Auntie Tali?”

She laughed as did Shepard. Garrus rolled his eyes and tried to keep a straight face but his mandibles were fluttering with amusement.

“Don’t worry,” Shepard assured Tali, “He won’t actually call you that.”


	20. Chapter 20 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus has found Sidonis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is late, life has been hectic.

“You let him go. He killed my people, he tried to get me killed, and you let him go.”

“He wasn’t worth it, what you were going to do to yourself. You don’t murder people Garrus. You don’t!”

“How do you know? You’ve been gone two years Shepard. You didn’t even try to find me when you came back! Now you’ve let that traitor go, do you even care?”

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

She went rigid. Her eyes narrowed and her hands were balled into fists.

“Of course I care, you ass,” her voice soft and angry. She was almost hissing as she pointed a finger up at him as she spoke, “Why do you think I made you let him go? I care about you. You were letting it eat you up, the hate was destroying you. Killing him wouldn’t have fixed it, it would have made it worse.  Don’t you dare ask me if I care.”

She turned, walking back toward the skycar.  

He blinked.

_Spirits, she's right._

She always was and it wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be right? He was still just so angry. Garrus wasn’t even angry with Shepard, he was angry with himself. This was his fault, but he was lashing out at her.

“Wait. Shepard, I...”

“Fuck off,” she growled, still stomping away.

_Why am I so stupid and ungrateful?_

He sounded as bad as Alenko back on Horizon. Worse, actually. She had helped him. Shepard had put everything on the line for them, time and time again. It seemed all they could do was hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, anger completely dissipated.

She stopped but was still facing away from him, shaking slightly. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she was going to cry.

“You’re...right. I just need a little time,” he took a step forward, lightly putting a hand on her shoulder then dropped it back to his side. “Damn it, Shepard. It’s so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray? Gray, I don’t know what to do with. I am sorry,” he repeated. “Can I meet you back at the ship? I need to clear my head.”

She sighed, slumping a little. She turned to face him, she was pinching the bridge of her nose. Shepard looked tired, but not angry. She looked up then reached out and grabbed his hand, “Gray’s a bitch, Garrus. Take your time. I’ll be waiting.”

****

“Shepard, I can’t apologize enough for earlier.”

The words tumbled out as soon as he saw her.

She shook her head. “I won’t pretend you weren't a total jerk or that didn’t make me angry, but I get it, I really do. Losing your people. I’ve been there way too many times. Remember when we found out Cerberus was responsible for Akuze? Remember after Ash died?” Shepard sighed and moved to the sit on crate he thought of as hers, “Shit, Garrus. This kind of stuff is always difficult. You going to be ok?”

“I will be. You were right about Sidonis. You always are.”

Shepard laughed, she sounded a little bitter, “Not always. I just pretend I’m always right.”

She leaned back against the bulkhead, looking at the ceiling.

“True… We’re ok though, right?” How could he have done this to the person most important to him? “You forgive me?”

She looked at him for a minute, her face an impassive mask for a moment. Then to his relief a small, crooked smile bloomed and she gave a small shake of her head. “Of course I do, you silly turian. One fight isn’t going to break us. We’re too... close for that. And for gods sakes, stop beating yourself up so much! It’s getting tiring, always patching you up.”

Garrus nodded, “I may act like a complete ass sometimes. But I will always have your back.”

She stood, “Sometimes? A lot more than sometimes, my dear Vakarian. But I’ll have your back too, whether you like it or not. Now-” she drew the word out, “ you better re-calibrate my ship’s cannons, that’s the only reason I put up with your nonsense.” She smirked, “Well, one of the reasons.” She keyed something into her onmitool, “Good news is C-Sec dropped me a note, I’ve forwarded it to you. They’ve arrested Harkin and closed up his entire operation. Be thankful for small victories.”

“I could have sworn you were smirking a little when I shot him in the leg earlier.”

“I was,” she admitted. “I shouldn’t have, but I was. I’m just glad you’re alright.”

Shepard stood and headed for the door.

Garrus nodded. He should have always trusted Shepard. Spirits, but she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

She stopped just inside the door, “By the way, I did try to find you. I was only awake for a little over a week when I found you on Omega, so I didn’t have much time to look but you’d disappeared. I sent out messages, called in favors, but no one knew where you were or how to find you. I even asked the damned Illusive Man. Twice. That was not fun. You were the first person I asked about and, well, I… I thought you ought to know.” Her voice was sad, the words sounded heavy, “See you later, Garrus.”

She left.

Garrus took a sharp breath. Shepard had tried to find him. He, Garrus Vakarian, was the first person she’d wanted to find when she came back from the dead.

_Why?_

 


	21. Chapter 21 - Miranda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miranda needs Shepard's help.

“I find myself in the uncomfortable position of asking you for help, Shepard.” She knew the commander didn’t trust her. She rarely ever took her on missions anymore. Miranda had asked her about it once. Shepard had told Miranda that she was the XO, so if she was gone Miranda should be on the ship. It was logical, but it was a little hurtful too. She took Vakarian everywhere since he’d recovered and she usually took Tali or Grunt as her third teammate. Sometimes the mercenary Massani or the assassin, Thane, also went with her. Even that awful Jack got to go more than she did. Jacob almost never went on missions either, it was obvious Shepard didn’t like taking the Cerberus members with her.

Miranda had thought very highly of Shepard. Her record was excellent; she was a brilliant and resourceful woman, a veritable force of nature. Miranda still respected Shepard but she made her disdain for Cerberus clear and often disregarded Miranda’s advice, so Miranda felt conflicted. Now, she needed Shepard’s help but she wasn’t sure if she would get it.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, “What’s the matter?” She sat down but didn’t relax.

“It’s my sister, Orana. My father has found her and she’s in danger.” Miranda had no idea why she had told Shepard about her father in the first place, but she had. It made this a little easier at least.

“I see. I take he’s just going to take her whether she want to go or not?” Shepard crossed her arms, shaking her head slightly.

“Yes. She’s on Ilium. Orana has a family, Cerberus has been keeping them safe. But now my father has found her, I need to move her and her family out. I don’t want her to go through what I did. I got her out, she doesn’t need to go back.”

Shepard’s eyes narrowed.

“I won’t let our father take her family away from her to gratify his own ego,” Miranda’s words becoming more heated than she intended.

Shepard was quiet for a moment, and she stood. Miranda was certain she was going to say no.

“We’ll get them out Miranda. Have you made arrangements for relocating your sister and her family?”

Miranda’s face must have given away her shock because Shepard smirked at her.

“Yes, I’ve made arrangements. And… thank you Shepard.”

****

Shepard and Vakarian were hanging back. They’d given her space to be with Orana after Shepard had convinced her to talk to her. Shepard had done more for Miranda than she could have asked. Even after Shepard had found out her lies of omission, after Niket had betrayed her, Shepard had stayed and helped. She’d made a few remarks under her breath, but she’d helped. Shepard had saved Orana. Frankly, she’d saved Miranda too. Miranda knew she wouldn’t have forgiven herself if she’d killed Niket. Or if she’d never had a chance to talk to her baby sister.

Miranda walked over to Shepard. Vakarian made an expression that seemed to be a question, one which Shepard answered with a pointed look of her own and a curt nod. Vakarian nodded back. Miranda was always amazed that the two could communicate just by looking at each other. Especially since they were different species. They were very close, sometimes Miranda wondered just how close. She tried not to wonder too much though, it really wasn't her business.

”I’ll pick up the supplies, Shepard. See you back at the ship,” Garrus said as he left.

Miranda waited until the ex-C-Sec officer was out of earshot.

“I want to thank you Shepard. You were right about talking to Orana.” Miranda sighed, “And you were right about Niket.”

“You know,” Shepard said a smile quirking one corner of her mouth up, “I’ve been told that a lot recently.”

“I should have known better,” Miranda sighed. She felt stupid.

“We all make mistakes and we all have blind spots. Trusting your friend wasn’t a mistake though, he came through for you in the end.”

“You such an optimist Shepard. I don’t know if I can be like that,” Miranda shook her head.

Shepard laughed, “Oh, I’m no optimist, Miranda. I’m a realist. I always expect the worst, I just hope for the best. Your sister is going to be safe in her new home?”

“Yes, my father won’t find her again. I’ve set them up very well,” Miranda replied, “I just wanted to thank you. I screwed up but you… You were wonderful. I wish I was like you. You’ve earned everything you have, I just slid through on good genes.”

Shepard shook her head, her expression looked disgusted, “You hide behind your genetics far too much. You’re not perfect but you didn’t just slide by on good genes. You’re a great XO, you’re good at what you do, and you work hard. Really hard. Everybody screws up Miranda, even me.”

Miranda felt blindsided, “I… Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I’m not being nice, Miranda. I’m not a nice person,” Shepard chortled sarcastically, “I’m just telling you the truth, I happen to be annoyingly honest. I’m an annoying honest, realist.” She stood up and stretched a little, “Let’s go. I don’t want Garrus getting all the good stuff before me.”

“I thought he was getting supplies,” Miranda was confused, humans and turians couldn’t eat the same foods.

“Oh, he is, but I also saw him eyeing some rifle mods. I want to take a look before he gets all the good stuff.”

Shepard began to turn then stopped and patted Miranda a little awkwardly on the shoulder in a comforting gesture, “Come on, Miranda.”

Shepard smiled and let the way back toward the market.

 


	22. Chapter 22 -Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard sees Liara on Illium and discusses a letter with some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters as a birthday treat. :)

Liara smiled brightly as they came into her office, she moved to hug them. Garrus was pretty stiff, he’d seem to have forgotten Liara was a hugger. Tali returned the hug happily. But something worried Shepard, Liara was hiding something. Well, maybe not saying something was closer to the mark. She was no detective and she knew Liara fairly well. Also, Shepard didn’t like the look of her assistant.

Liara’s new job as an information broker was clearly going well. She was able to give them a little more info on their next two targets, the assassin and the Justicar. They were about to leave, when Liara asked for their help. She explained the her troubles with the Shadow Broker.

“I need you to hack a couple of terminals,” she explained. “I wouldn’t ask but I really need the information.”

“We can do that. But, Liara, you need to tell me whatever it is you’re hiding when I finish. Deal?” Shepard crossed her arms, she wanted it to be clear she wasn’t pleased.

Liara bowed her head. “Deal, Shepard.” She looked up, “I’ll tell you everything as soon as you get back.”

The hacking was fairly easy. Shepard wasn’t exactly shocked when they determined it was the assistant, Nerhrys, who was working for the Shadow Broker. They headed back to Liara’s office. Nerhrys was dead and her body was already gone.

“She needed to work on her barriers,” Liara said shaking her head, “Not that she’ll get the chance.”

Liara had spent too much time around her.

“Well?” Shepard asked. “Do you think you’re any closer to finding the Shadow Broker?”

Liara nodded, “Yes and, well, I owe you an explanation.” Liara motioned for them to sit. She explained about her friend, Feron, and how the Shadow Broker had killed him, but something still didn’t make sense.

“But why get involved with them in the first place?”

Liara looked guilty, she even blushed slightly, “I… They helped me get your body and I took it to Cerberus to revive.”

Shepard sat back, stunned, “You did what?”

“I panicked! I-I didn’t know what to do! After you died everything went sideways. Wrex punched Udina at your funeral, then Garrus took off. Kaiden-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, back up. Wrex punched Udina? And no one told me?” Shepard couldn’t help but laugh, no wonder the ambassador had looked so pissed when she’d seen him.

“Shepard?” Garrus looked at her like she was having a mental break.

“Sorry, it was just a beautiful picture.” Shepard turned to frown at Liara, “Look, I am happy not to be dead but, Liara, you - you crossed a line.” Shepard stood with a sigh and rubbed her face, “I... I need some time okay?”

Liara shook her head, “Of course, I’m sorry but I’m glad you’re back. I would do it again Shepard.”

Shepard walked out of the office, Garrus and Tali followed behind. They headed back toward the ship.

Tali finally broke the silence, “Shepard, you okay?”

“I don’t know. I feel… violated. But I am happy to be alive...” she shook her head, confused. She decided to change the subject, “I got a letter from Kaiden, apologizing.” She’d told Tali about Horizon, the Quarian woman had been pissed. 

The letter from Kaiden had come over a week ago. It was a little long and rambling but the gist was Kaiden was really sorry, he felt terrible, he knew he was a jackass, and could she ever forgive him? She’d held onto it for days before replying, she was still angry at him but the apology had helped.

“Really? What did you say?” Garrus looked at her, curious.

She shrugged, “I accepted his apology. I yelled at him a bit too. In caps lock. We’ll be ok, eventually... I think. It helps that he realizes he’s behaved like a total ass.” Shepard cracked her neck, “Alright. Enough lollygagging. We’ve got some planning to do.”

"Lollygagging?" Garrus asked. 

Tali and Shepard both laughed. 


	23. Chapter 23 - Grunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grunt goes with Shepard to recruit the assassin.

Grunt wanted to laugh when Shepard pushed the mercenary out of the window. So he did. Just a low chuckle in the back of his throat. Jack grinned at him and reloaded her shotgun.

" _Fucking awesome,_ " she mouthed.

Grunt agreed, but his amusement died when Shepard turned back towards them. Shepard was pissed. Grunt had never seen her this angry before. He knew it wasn't going to go well when those salarians had told her about the maintenance workers being killed.

"Let's go," she said, cracking her neck and checking her clip.

Grunt was a little worried, not that he'd admit it, but he hoped she would calm down soon. Shepard was really, really scary like this. Grunt wanted her back to her normal level of scary. He liked Mo-, um, Shepard at her normal scary.

Besides, something was wrong with this whole set-up. They shouldn't be chasing some stupid assassin.  Grunt could feel his feet itch. Jack had said it was just athlete's foot, but Grunt knew better. They weren't going to make it in time.

Grunt felt vindicated when they burst into the main office just a little too late. The assassin was a green Drell. Grunt thought he was the same color as the gross vegetables Shepard always made him eat. Shepard was talking to to the green guy and Grunt let his mind wander. He was debating between the stegosaurus and the triceratops model. Then, Shepard offered the Drell a job.

Grunt wasn't sure how he felt about that. The Drell was a good fighter but he was kind of... flashy. Besides, he wasn't sure how Da- Vakarian would feel about him. Oh well, at least Shepard wasn't so angry anymore.


	24. Chapter 24 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus is busy with some calibrations.

An asari justicar and a drell assassin. Shepard always did collect the strangest people.

Now she’d had word from the Illusive Man that he might have a way to get them through the Omega Relay soon. Shepard was worried, he was too. They had made tons of upgrades to the _SR-2_. It was the best armed, best armored ship he’d ever seen. Shepard had even won over most of the Cerberus crew. If anyone could make it through this mission, it would be them.

Garrus knew he should be focusing on the mission but he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Shepard had been spending a lot of time with the new drell assassin. He had overheard a lot of the human crew member comment on how handsome the man was. Even with the xenophobic leanings of the Cerberus people, they found the drell attractive. He was starting to think Shepard did too.

Krios was certainly attracted to Shepard. He called her ‘Siha’. Garrus had looked it up on the net. It had taken a while for him to find, but he’d found out that a ‘siha’ was a kind of warrior angel from Drell lore. They were supposed to work for one of the Drell goddesses, Arashu. They were fierce, loyal protectors who were graced with heavenly beauty. Appropriate for Shepard, but it was still a little annoying.

Just then the doors opened. Garrus looked up. It was, of course, Shepard.

“Need something?” Garrus asked, sounding a little testy.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “Just came to talk. Have a moment?”

“I’m in the middle of some calibrations,” he said. It was a lame excuse, but it usually worked. Today, however, Shepard wasn’t buying it.

“No, you’re not.” She sat down on the crate in the corner, her arms crossed, “I’m an engineer remember? You’re not going to get those guns any more calibrated that they are now, you’ve only got a 0.0007% error. Besides,” she gestured to his console. “That’s code for improving the auto refocus on your scope and you have a couple of errors. You need a break.”

Garrus huffed, a little annoyed but not angrily. She was good. And her eyesight was so much better since Cerberus had given her ocular implants.

“So, what’s up?” she asked leaning back and crossing her legs. She looked smug.

“Oh, nothing.” Garrus lied.


	25. Chapter 25 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard clears up some confusion.

Shepard narrowed her eyes, doing her best Clint Eastwood impression. Something was bothering Garrus and she was going to find out what it was.

“You just… seem to be spending a lot of time with Krios,” he admitted after a few moments of their staredown. He was shifting his weight a little in a way that Shepard thought of as a turian version of nervous squirming.

“Yeah, it took a while to get him settled. I set up some dehumidifiers to help keep the place as dry as possible. And believe it or not he’s quite the talker. Thane told me a good chunk of his life story. It’s all rather sad, I think he’s lonely...” Shepard shrugged, leaning back and relaxing.

She even let her eyes close for a moment before looking back at Garrus. Thane had told her about his terminal disease as well as his deceased wife and estranged son. He seemed to need someone to talk to.

“I don’t trust him.” Garrus said, crossing his arms.

“ _Ah, now we’re getting somewhere._ ”

“He’s a good man, Garrus, in his own way. He has some issues, but don’t we all?” she tried to sound reassuring. She trusted Garrus’ judgement but Thane was not a threat to them, he’d get used to the assassin eventually.

Garrus nodded, but muttered something under his breath as he turned back to his console. She could hear the thrum of his sub-vocals, they sounded petulant? Then she caught the words ‘attractive’ and ‘green’ and ‘romantic’ and perhaps ‘bastard’. He obviously thought she couldn't hear him but her hearing, which had also been good, was even better now.

Shepard’s eyes narrowed again for a moment. Then her eyes popped open wide and she sat bolt upright. “Wait, you think I’m interested in the male underwear model?”

“The what?” Garrus turned back, looking startled.

His pretty, blue eyes were wide in confusion, mandibles fluttering in embarrassment. She was pretty sure if you could see turians could blush, he would be tomato red.

“It’s an expression and you know it,” she made a face, “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Aren’t you?” He asked looking down at her, rather sheepishly.

“Not in the way you’re implying.” She sniffed, “Geeze Garrus, just because a guy is attractive doesn’t mean I’m going to throw myself at him. That’s what I get for being friendly. Happens to me everytime.”

She leaned against the bulkhead, crossing her arms, then laughed.The whole situation was rather amusing and Garrus expression was priceless.

“Oh... well...” he said. “Um, sorry for misinterpreting,” he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “I need to finish this cali… uh code,” he gestured lamely towards his console.

“Yeah, I have things, work thing, to do too. If you need some help with the code, send it to me. I can help you debug,” she replied, still snickering a little. “I should go. See you later.”

“Later Shepard,” Garrus said spinning back to his console making a great show of working.

 

 


	26. Chapter 26 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally makes a move.

“So who won?”

She could picture him sparring with the scout. It would have been interesting to see, especially with the way Garrus had described her fighting style. It sounded rather like some martial arts styles from Earth, focusing on speed, flexibility, and using an opponent's own strength against them.

“We went a couple of hours, but it was a draw. The people betting weren’t too happy.”

“A draw, really? You couldn’t think of a tie breaker?”

“Ahhh…” Garrus hummed softly, he seemed embarrassed. “Actually we had a tiebreaker, um, in her quarters. Like I said, I had the reach but she had flexibility,” Garrus finished.

“I see,” Shepard suppressed a grin.

“It’s a good way to relieve stress.” This time, Shepard couldn’t stop herself from grinning.  “The sparring I mean,” he added hastily.

“We could do that,” she said.

“I didn’t think you were interested in sparring. You’re good at hand to hand, but you’d have a hard time taking me in a fair fight. I’m a lot bigger than you,” he said seriously.

“Who said I fight fair? Besides, I was thinking of skipping to the tiebreaker,” Shepard said absentmindedly then froze. The words had popped out before she could think. She felt her face heating. She had, of course, had to choose the most inopportune moment and the most inappropriate way to express her interest.

“ _Oh shit._ ”


	27. Chapter 27 - Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now its Garrus' turn to make a move.

Had he heard her right, did Shepard just proposition him? Garrus saw her turn pink, she was embarrassed. It was unusual to see her blush. He’d seen her flushed from exertion yes, but rarely ever blushing. Then he realized he’d been silent a long time.

“Oh! I didn’t… Huh. I never knew you had a weakness for men with scars?” he said.

“ _Damn, that sounded lame._ ”

She looked like she was going to say something but he took a breath and started over. “Why the hell not? There’s nobody in the galaxy I respect more than you,” he groaned inwardly, now he sounded like he wasn’t really interested, like he felt obligated or something. “If we can figure out a way to make it work then... yeah. Definitely.”

" _Spirits, but I'm stupid._ "

“If you’re not comfortable, it’s ok. I’m not trying to pressure you. We don’t... Just forget I said anything,” Shepard had stood up, the color had drained from her face. She was at the door in an instant and had hit the button to open it.

“Wait. Shepard, no,” he touched her hand lightly, she stopped. Garrus hesitated for a moment before hitting the switch to close the door again before continuing. “Jayne, you're not making me uncomfortable. Not in the way you mean. Nervous as hell, yes, but not uncomfortable.”

She had turned back to look at him, her face was all pink again.

He took a deep breath, feeling a little more confident now, “I won’t pretend I have some kind of fetish for humans, but this isn’t about that. It’s about us. You’re the only friend I have left in this screwed up galaxy and I care about you. Deeply. I wouldn’t say yes if I didn’t want to do this.”

She blinked, it felt like a long moment before she smiled, then reached out to grab his hand. “If you’re sure…”

He nodded.

She smiled, soft and warm, “Nervous I can handle. Besides, you’re awful cute when you’re nervous.”

Shepard thought he was cute! Wait, Garrus wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She let go of his hand and dropped her own to her side.

“I should let you get back to work. We’ll talk later, ok?”

“Oh yeah, because I’m in such a good place to optimise firing algorithms right now.”

Shepard just grinned at him. She walked backward, hitting the door mechanism without looking. She continued backing into the corridor for a few seconds and gave him a little wave before turning and hurrying away.

Today was… Today was a good day.

 

 


	28. Chapter 28 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard helps Samara finally catch her daughter.

Samara had gone through the plan several times with Shepard. 

“Attract Morinth’s attention, let her lure you into her lair. Then I will step in. Be careful Shepard, she is dangerous,” Samara reiterated. 

Shepard had nodded and told Samara she understood. She wasn’t particularly keen on this plan but Samara knew her daughter best.

She’d left Garrus on the Normandy. He was even less pleased about this plan than Shepard.

Shepard had dressed up in the dress Kasumi had picked out. She’d paired it with more sturdy shoes this time though, and a jacket. She also had a couple of knives and a gun on her person.

Samara had been right. Morinth had lapped up the mysterious, artsy, tough girl act like a greedy kitten.

While they flirted, Shepard couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman. Morinth was obviously not a good person, she had seduced and murdered that little girl, but she was still pitiable. She was twisted and stunted and Shepard couldn’t help but wonder how much of that was because of her condition and how much from how she was raised knowing what she was and knowing all the things she couldn’t have. 

Shepard also felt desperately sorry for Samara, who she knew not only felt guilty but would have to mourn her daughter knowing she had killed her. 

Morinth took her back to her rooms and was trying to set the mood. Shepard could feel the psychic tug from the asari, the mental urging into a romantic mood. But all it made her think of was Garrus, she even smiled a little think of how nice it would be to sit next to each one another like this and cuddle her giant, turian boyfriend. Was he her boyfriend though? Shepard wasn’t sure. She was going to have to clarify that with him later.

That line of thought seemed to lull Morinth into think she was succeeding with Shepard. When the ardat-yakshi began her mental onslaught, Shepard struggled against her and was able to push her out.

Shepard snorted, “Not going to work, Morinth.” 

“What?” she was confused and angry.

“Morinth, stop,” Samara said, bursting through the door.

“Mother! This was all a trick?” 

“Please, Morinth,” Samara pleaded, “It doesn’t have to end like this. Turn yourself in.”

“Never,” Morinth spat, and she and her mother lunged toward each other.

A shot rang out and Morinth dropped to the floor. The blue light around Samara dissipated instantly. She kneeled beside her dead daughter as Shepard put away her gun.

“Come back to the ship when you’re ready,” Shepard murmured and left the woman alone to grieve.

Shepard walked slowly back to the Normandy, she was greeted by an anxious Garrus and Tali.

“Are you alright?” Tali asked, “Did you catch her?” Her friend grasped at her arm searching her for any sign of injury.

“I’m fine Tali,” Shepard said with a smile and a reassuring pat on her shoulder, “I just need to get cleaned up, don’t worry.”

Tali nodded and headed back toward the engine room, though Shepard didn’t think she was convinced. Tali would probably come and check on her later. 

Garrus caught her lightly by the arm as she passed him, “You are alright, aren’t you?” he asked quietly. His sub-vocals thrummed with worry.

“I really am,” she reassured him, she patted his hand, “It was draining,” she sighed again, “Emotionally draining.” Shepard sniffed and ran her hand through her cropped hair, she wasn't going to cry. At least, not here. “I want to go get changed, when Samara gets back, we have to go talk to the other girl’s mother.” 

Garrus nodded, “Then get some rest, ok?”

“Ok,” Shepard agreed and went to her cabin.


	29. Chapter 29 - Samara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samara gets a chance to talk to Shepard about what happened with Morinth.

Samara heard the knock on her door and knew it was Shepard. They had not had a chance to speak of what had happened with Morinth privately and she knew it weighed heavily on the young, human woman’s mind.

“Samara, I know what I did wasn’t part of the plan but… I am sorry,” Shepard said.

The justicar stood and moved towards the window. She watched the blurred colors of their space flight for a moment before speaking.

“Morinth haunted my dream and waking hours equally. For the first time in 400 years, I am free. I am a broken vessel full of sorrow and regret, but I am free.”

“I-”

“Let me finish Shepard,” Samara cut in gently, “I would have killed her, I was going to. There was no there choice, it was a matter of need and it had to be done. This was never a story that would have a happy outcome. The bravest and smartest of my daughters is dead,” Samara sighed, “But at least it was not by my hand. You have saved an old warrior a small modicum of pain, for that I am grateful. I am at peace now, due in no small part to you. Feel no guilt over what you have done. Thank you, Shepard.”

Shepard nodded and slipped out. 

Samara murmured to the closed door, “And I would be proud to have a daughter like you.”

Then she settled back into her meditation position.


	30. Chapter 30 -Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus talk again, Garrus gets cold turian feet.

Shepard had been visiting with Thane again. He’d told her about the first time he’d met his late wife, Irikah. He missed her greatly and was still coming to terms with her death. Shepard had felt for him, she could only imagine how hard it was for him to lose the love of his life. It was even worse because Thane blamed himself. Now, his son had apparently fallen down a bad path. That seemed to be true of everyone she knew who had children. Maybe that reflected on her, she wasn’t sure.

They were, of course, going to go get him as soon as Thane let her know where they needed to go. The whole story had been so sad that now all Shepard wanted was just to be near Garrus. She headed to the forward batteries. Garrus gave her a nervous look when she entered. 

_ Uh oh. Not good. _

She had gotten very good at reading his body language. He was on the edge of distraught.

“I’ve been thinking about what we talked about and…” Garrus looked around, then hit a button on his console to seal the door. He gestured to the crate she usually sat on and they both sat down. The height difference between them was enormous, even sitting. It made her want to grin but she figured it would be a bad time for that.

“I’ve never really considered,” he started, “Damn.” He popped up and started pacing. “Too dirty and clinical,” he muttered before he spoke again. “Are we crazy to even be considering this?” Garrus’s sub-vocals cracked slightly, “I mean… Look, I know… I know you could find something a little closer to home.”

He was trying to talk her, and himself, out of their relationship. She could tell he’d had a whole speech planned, though it had fallen apart.

_ I don’t want closer to home, I want you! _

She wanted to shout at him, but Shepard honestly didn’t want to pressure him. If he’d rather keep their friendship the way it was, she could live with that. But, if he didn’t… 

“Garrus, look. If that’s really the only thing you’re worried about, please don’t be. I just want someone I can really care about, someone I can completely trust. And I trust you, more than anyone,” she took a breath, “But I am  _ not _ going to pressure you. If you don’t want to, or need time to think, that’s ok.” 

She stood, ready to leave. 

_ Maybe I should just give him some time…Let him make up his mind. _

She started to move toward the door. Garrus suddenly closed the gap between them. Then, to her amazement, he slipped one arm around her waist. With the other hand he reached up to to stroke her hair and down the side of her face gently. He made a sound like a purr and her breath caught in her throat. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he whispered. His hand was still cupping her face. 

“Really?” Shepard managed to gasp out. It came out gruff, but only because she was still having a little trouble catching her breath.

“Ahh...” he dropped his hands like they’d been burned.  

Shepard realized he’d misinterpreted her tone and grabbed the hand he’d dropped from her face. She stepped closer and reached up, gently caressing the scars on the side of his face, “Me too.”

As she started to let her hand fall, Garrus grabbed it and held it against his face. He made that purring noise again. It was cliche, but he made her feel weak in the knees. They stood like that for a fraction of a moment when Shepard’s comm beeped.

“Shepard this is Chakwas, my monitor says you have some irregularities with your breathing and some of of your cybernetics. Are you alright?”

“Damn,” she muttered. Shepard replied, “I’m fine doctor just, uh, had some coffee go down the, um, wrong way.” 

She managed a little cough. It was a dumb excuse but it was the only thing she could think of at the moment. She was a little distracted.

“Ok...” Dr. Chakwas didn’t sound convinced, “Well, make sure you stop by later, I want to run some more scans. Chakwas out.” 

The comm switched off.

“I forgot I was wearing this damn monitor,” Shepard pulled the offending chip off her neck and shoved it in a pocket.

Garrus was giggling. Well, it was the turian equivalent of a giggle. It grew into a full fledged chuckle, deep and joyous. He reached out and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close. He lifted her slightly, so she was standing on her tiptoes. She silently cursed how short she was, it was a little awkward for them both, standing like this. She didn’t really mind though. Shepard reached up, winding her arms around his neck.

“You know, I’ve never had a thing for men with scars before,” she murmured, “but on you, they work.”

Shepard looked up into Garrus’ face, he was grinning. So was she. His bright, blue eyes twinkled merrily. He leaned down and put his forehead to hers and she let her eyes close. Her whole body relaxed, it felt good. 

After a moment he straightened and let her down. 

“Turian kissing is nice.” She gave him a lopsided grin, “Very nice.”

“It’s not…” he started but stopped and grinned widely, “Actually, I guess it is.” Then he gave her a suspicious look, “Wait, how did you know that?”

She bit her lip, still grinning. “I’ve done some research,” she admitted. Shepard reached up and lightly traced the scar on his face with her fingers. “Though to be honest, I’m not even sure if that was a kiss. You may have to demonstrate it again later. For, uh, research purposes.”

“Well,” he rumbled, in amusement. She loved the sound of his sub-vocals. “I can do that. I guess I have some research to do too. I’ll... find some music and look up some stuff...” His grin widened, “This will either be wonderful or a horrible, interspecies, awkwardness thing. In which case, the Reapers will be a nice distraction. So, a win either way.”

Shepard crossed her arms, and shrugged. A lopsided smirk plastered across her face, “It wont be that bad. Besides, even if it’s awkward, there is no one else I’d rather spend my time with.”

Garrus chuckled and shook his head. “You’re going to walk out now and leave me to my work, aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah. That’s my thing. Dinner later, usual time?”

“Usual time.”

Shepard felt like skipping but refrained. Now to go see the doctor before she hunted her down.


	31. Chapter 31 - Mordin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordin's observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I've been terrible and haven't updated this in forever. I have a whole bunch of chapter ready to go over the next few weeks

_Observation would indicate Shepard and Vakarian finally involved. Ointment ready. Need to make appointment w/Cdr. They’ll want to wait until closer to final mission. Will schedule appt through Ensign Kelly, nice girl. Bit strange. Good therapist though, much promise._  
_Stress on crew increased, but still high spirits. Mission may be successful. Cdr’s attention to personal needs of crew beneficial. Cerberus crew getting along with non-human crew surprisingly well. Cdr good influence._  
_IL may have new lead on collectors. May soon be able to enter last phase of mission._

  
Mordin paused in his typing for a moment before adding:

  
_Make sure to remind young Grunt again about proper nutrition. Still doesn’t believe veg essential. Is wrong, of course._

  
Mordin closed his diary and reset the encryption as he always did before leaving the lab to make his appointment with Commander Shepard. 


	32. Chapter 32 - Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack wants to blow up the Cerberus compound

“I figured we could just blow it to the fucking sky,’ Jack finished.

  
To her surprise Shepard just fucking nodded, “Okay, sounds good.”

  
Jack was shocked.

  
_Fucking, goody-two-shoes is seriously ok with this plan?_

  
“Send me the coordinates and we’ll go there directly.” Shepard added, “And put together a team, if you want, otherwise we’ll go alone.”

  
“Ok,” Jack said slowly.

  
Shepard smiled at her and left.

  
Jack flopped down on the bed.

  
“Fuck,” she said and hit her pillow. She liked Shepard, she hated to admit it but she did.

The woman was her friend.

  
_A real friend. Like, one that did shit for you without expecting any shit from you in return. Fuck, what did I get into?_

  
She rolled so she was on her back looking at the ceiling. She thought about what Shepard had said about a team. She could bring Grunt, she could count on him for some wholehearted destruction. Or Garrus, Shepard’s boyfriend was big on justice. This was justice. Or maybe revenge, not that it mattered she was doing it anyway. The complex was abandoned though, so no need to bring in the big guns.

  
Then, Jack toyed with the idea of bringing Miranda and make her watch a Cerberus base get destroyed. Make her see exactly why Jack hated them so much.

  
_Hell no, she’d probably just try to justify every fucking thing they’ve done to me._

  
Maybe they should go alone. It was abandoned, it wasn’t like they were going into a firefight. Yeah, alone was better. Just her and Shepard. She didn’t need anyone else to see her pain.


	33. Chapter 33 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus plan a date.

Someone pushed the buzzer on Shepard’s office door.

“Enter.” She called.

Garrus stepped in and close the door behind himself. The office was very small, he almost filled up the unused space. It was really a converted closet near the cockpit. She didn’t like working in her room. People seemed to feel awkward if they needed to come see her. Plus, this was right over the engines so she could hear them. She found that comforting. It was small but nice, and private.

“Hey there, what’s up?”

He pulled the chair out and sat down looking rather excited and pleased with himself.

“I have a plan, but I want your ok,” he smiled.

“Sure, what?” she tapped at her keyboard, saving her work and turning the display off.

He reached out and grabbed her hand over the desk. “I want to have a date. Something special, just you and me. I want to wait, until just before we go through the relay.”

Shepard grinned. “What? All the nice place I take you where people shoot at us then we shoot them back aren’t good enough dates for you?” Garrus chuckled, and she added, “Sure, any particular reason why?” She smiled, cocking her head to one side, inquiringly.

He shrugged and leaned back, “Disrupt the crew as little as possible... and take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. And, well, you know me. I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink.” Shepard burst out laughing and collapsed with her head down on the desk. “Wait,” Garrus said, “That metaphor just went somewhere horrible.”

She looked up, still laughing at him. “You think?” She managed to stop laughing, “I do like your plan, as long as I still get to come visit you. I do, right?”

“Of course! We have lots to talk about, we also still have to work together. But now, I should go,” he grinned.

“Are you mocking me?” Shepard asked indignantly, her eyes narrowed. But she knew her smile gave her away.

“That’s  _ my _ thing, ” he was very pleased with himself. “Sweetpea?” he added.

“Sweetpea? No, no, no. Think of something else,” she shook her head. 

He kept trying to come up with a pet name, but so she’d vetoed them all. Shepard liked when Garrus used her name, first  _ or _ last, but she really liked to hear him say Jayne. It made her happy. But for now, she was enjoying letting him try to find a nickname. Someday she’d tell him eventually how much she enjoyed him just calling her Jayne.

Everyone had called her Shepard since she’d been about thirteen, she even thought of herself as Shepard most of the time. Even before that, she had rarely been called Jayne. Shepard didn’t care for the name much. She knew she’d been born in a shelter, but her mother had abandoned her without naming her and no one had known the woman. A volunteer had named her Jane, after one of the Bennet sisters in  _ Pride and Prejudice _ . That particular volunteer always gave kids literary names. Eventually, Shepard had ended up on the street and the rest of the kid never called her Jane.

When she was older and enlisted, she’d changed the spelling after a character in an old entertainment program she’d seen as a kid. He’d been a sort of space pirate, had a big gun, and no one messed with him. As a small kid on the streets, that was who she wanted to be when she grew up. To make it even better, his name was Jayne but with a ‘y’. She’d liked that much better than plain Jane with no ‘y’, so she changed it. Now, she had a new appreciation for the sound of the name.  

“See you later, Jayne,” he stood and leaned over the desk, nuzzling her cheek. Garrus was trying to fluster her, but it wouldn’t work. Well, actually, it did. It worked too damn well but she wouldn’t let him win.

“Hah, well my reports are finished. So I win.” 

Garrus open the door and headed out.

“Make sure you forward me that new code for your scope,” she called after him, going to the door, “I want to take a look.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said a little too flippantly. 

Shepard just shook her head and went to go check on Joker, she could hear him sniggering in the cockpit.

“You know people are going to figure it out,” Joker said.

“Eavesdropping, my dear little pilot?” Shepard asked. 

“Jamais mon capitaine!” he said, feigning shock.

Shepard made disgusted noise, “Sure, Joker. Sure.” 

She kept her voice low as she rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck.

“People only see what they want to see. The Cerberus crew might gossip a little about me and my team to pass the time. But do you really think they're going to want to entertain the notion that their commanding officer is romantically involved with a turian? No.” She shrugged, “Besides, I’ve heard the current rumors. Half of them think I was screwing Kaiden and I know most of them think I’m still pining over him.”

“Yeah well, a few think you’re doing Miranda. Or Jack. Or both.” Joker added. 

Shepard rolled her eyes, “I know  _ you  _ started that one. Just keep your mouth shut about this.”

“Hey!” Joker was offended that she thought he might start gossiping about her and Garrus. “EDI knows,” he added in his defense, “Aren’t you going to threaten her too?”

“EDI isn’t a blabbermouth.” Shepard chuckled, “Plus, we girls stick together. Right EDI?”

“Indeed, Commander,” for a shackled AI, EDI could sound awfully smug.

“Women, they always gang up on you,” Joker grumbled.

“You wish, Joker,” Shepard snorted.

“Yeah,” Joker said wistfully. “Hey, Shepard. My birthday is coming up.”

“No.” 

She knew exactly what he was thinking. 

“Spoilsport.”  

“Please, Jeff. We just want to enjoy this privately for a while before it hits the galactic rumor mill,” Shepard said sincerely.

“Of course,” Joker said with a smile, “Have fun. Just don’t tell me any details, I don’t want to know.” He gave a fake shiver, “Eww.”


	34. Chapter 34 - Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a conversation with Mordin!

“Mordin, you wanted to see me?”

“Ahh, Shepard. Right on time,” Mordin saved his analysis and focused his attention on her.

“Is something wrong?”

“Wrong? No. Just checking in, wanted to go over a few things.” 

He began pulling up a file on his console and gestured her to a seat as he turned the display. 

“Medical matters,” Mordin said as he started his presentation.

Shepard blanched at the very first slide. It was entitled, ' _Interspecies Intercourse and You: A Human-Turian Mating Guide_ '.

She leaned her head into her hand. “Oh god.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mordin seems like the kind of guy who would have slides prepared for a lecture like this.


End file.
